Blogging Baby Malcolm and Salome

Baby Salome

2011-03-16T23:17:00.000-07:00

Salome is so different from Malcolm, and the experience of raising her is so different. So much is going on in our lives now that looking back at my blog postings from Malcolm, I think that I need to take time to just check back in with my philosophies of mothering. I feel like all of us are really busying becoming ourselves right now, but Salome is with me nearly all the time. She still goes to work with me, she goes to daycare on campus while I am in class, and of course she is with us at home. She is a total blessing and a complex little being.

I definitely think that she is a thinker, a wise woman. She opens those big eyes and really watches people. She adores her big brother and breaks out a big smile the second that she sees him, and when we pick him up from school he makes her giggle all the way home.

She is really working on her crawl and getting too wiggly and active for me to take to the office on the days where there are no home visits so we are going to have reconstruct things in our lives a bit, but she is like a healing angel. Although one who does keep a creative sleep schedule!

Malcolm and Salome Go the ART Museum

2011-01-12T21:41:00.000-08:00

I am sorry that I have written so little lately. I have had some technical glitches that unfortunately have not allowed me to download pictures for months. I have them all, just not on the computer. I think that I have almost gotten the problem worked out, I know which memory cards I need. Now I just need a little extra cash.

We took Malcolm and Salome to the Art Museum this weekend. They have a family day once a month for kids with lots of activities. This was Malcolm's first time and the theme was music. It was a big hit. Salome also did enjoy the peaceful atmosphere as she stared at all the people and colorful objects, but there were no naps to be had on her part.

I thought that the Native American exhibit was one of the most amazing things I had seen. I loved all the totems and carving of the tribes of the Pacific Northwest. Nathaniel and I really enjoying wandering that part together. By that time Malcolm had gone off with Curtis to hear the storytelling, and Grandma was covertly buying birthday presents in the Gift Shop.

It feels like we are finally settling into a new rhythm in our new home. A new year has begun, and a new term. I thankfully passed my Biostats class and am now enthralled with my International Health class. Baba Malcolm will soon return from a six week trip from Kenya to assist his ailing family members and I am sure some readjusting will need to be had again, but things are going better overall.

Salome is so close to crawling, and she is now eating sweet potatoes, baby cereal and avocado in addition to mama's milk. I am so in love with my baby, proud of my son and blessed to have my family. We are full of flaws, but I would not trade the fierce love of the people within these walls for the world!

The New Normal: Back to Work, Back to School

2010-09-12T07:02:00.000-07:00

I saw that some of my friends were checking the blog, wanting to know how work is going, whether we are sleeping, and about all of our various transitions.

Well, they are transitions, and transitions for this mama are never too easy, but so far so good. The truth is that when it comes to babies I am truly blessed! Both of my babies have been pretty easy, wonderful little beings, and especially with co-sleeping pretty good sleepers. My honey-colored girl is a little bit harder than her brother in some ways, but seems like she will be a very mellow soul overall.

I have been taking Salome to work with me which I have been approved to do until she starts crawling. This has been wonderful! I was worried about it, and of course there have been some hiccups here and there, but overall it has been great. Meetings can be a little tricky, but if I am in my office or a home visit it is pretty easy to meet everyone's needs and get work done.

Women throughout the office often come to take a peek at her when they know she is around. The African women who are my co-workers in our department have really become her aunties. They were there at the Blessingway, and supported me throughout my pregnancy and now they will hold Salome in our meetings together and speak to her in Amharic or French. Salome glows at this, and seems to really respond to the Amharic.

I have been going on homevisits to meet new clients for a mothering group that I am starting for African women. It does not take much to be welcomed into these homes. I greet the women with a "As'salaam walaikem" and they respond and then ask about my baby. When they hear how young she is I often get a response that is something like "Oh, and you are already working. We must all struggle in this country. Sit down my sister." I tell them about our program and my ideas, and then ask them their stories. I learn about their struggles in their countries of origin and here. We hold each other's baby, and I offer them my support as needed. It is actually a lot of fun, and I think that my relationship with Salome has also grown through this. I am also happy at the early exposure she gets to African cultures. Malcolm got to hear the real singing and dancing of the women of Kisayani in my womb, and grow in the darkness as I responded to the traffic and crowded city life of Nairobi. Salome is growing now among whispered Amharic reassurances, Somali songs and smells, and with a whole hosts of aunties who welcome her into a global circle of women who struggle, and heal, and work and nurture, and cry, and feel oppressed, and sing, and love and laugh.

School has not started for me yet, but I have an orientation in Corvallis this week so Salome's wonderful Aunty Kerri is going down with me to help with the Empress. Malcolm's school is off to a great start. Mountain Valley prepared him well. He has had so many years of cultivating community and problem solving that he is doing quite well. He interacts quite confidently with the sixth graders he sees in the hallway, participates in circle time, and is surrounded in diversity. The comments about wanting to be white are starting to fade, and he is beginning to respond differently to discipline and re-direction around his hitting and acting out. This is good for everyone. I am happy about it and still seeking more outlets for more physical play, because unfortunate nothing could be as physical as MV with its wonderful rope, and climbing wall, and jumping mattress, but he rests at naptime and comes home happy. I am already making friends with the parents which seems easier because our family seems average at the school instead of the oddballs, and most people are in the neighborhood. Things are definitely different than they were, but I am looking forward to the adventure of the next three years. Now, wish me luck passing Biostastics!

We are off to life in the "New Normal."

Malcolm's First Day at Pre-K-A New Beginning

2010-09-09T12:24:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Malcolm's first day of Pre-K at Holy Redeemer. Wow! How different from Mountain Valley! I realized how odd it was to not be met by Susan or Isaiah and see him run off to play on a mattress, and I did think about the fact that I did not see a play kitchen or really any dress up in the new classroom they moved to, but there were so many other good things too.

I had planned to stay until 11:00 because the newsletter said that we could do that the first day, but by 9:30 Malcolm had a story time, done calendar with the other kids, discovered the art supplies, had a tour of the classroom, and was ready to go outside to recess and snack time. He was ready for me to go. I did question myself a little "Oh my gosh, this is a long way from our little progressive school" but was reassured by the diversity, the sense of a neighborhood school, the diverse teachers, the other parents who seem so cool, and the thriving and huge school garden that Holy Redeemer put in this year.

It was a lot to handle just getting out the door as I also had to prepare things so that someone could watch Salome and I could be with Malcolm. I came home early to find baby girl crying with Jessica , a friend from church who helps take care of her when I need it, but we both figured out that her milk was just not the right temperature. Part of me felt guilty that I wasn't panic stricken at being away from Salome while I helped Malcolm adjust, but I knew she was safe and being well-cared for and that this was a big step for Malcolm.

It was great getting home at 5:30 even after not rushing the pick up because Malcolm was so close to home, and since he slept (yes he actually napped!) he was in a better mood than previous pickups, and that gave us time to play and put off dinner a bit. A great start-umm I think.

Pictures from Salome's First Month

2010-08-17T20:38:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know she is almost two months old and I am just posting pictures from the first month here, but you know it is challenging with two so you all will just have to forgive me.

The Illusion of the Fourth Trimester

2010-07-21T10:30:00.000-07:00

Everywhere I go lately people say "What a tiny little baby! Is this your first outing?" They inevitably fail to notice the four and a half year old standing next to me, and because I began this sentence with the words "Everywhere I go" it should be clear that the answer is no, it is not her first outing. To be clear we have certainly had our days and our moments staring at each other on the bed. I have watched Salome gazing at the beautiful beads that were given to us at the Blessingway. We laid together on the sandy beach, recovering and nursing while Malcolm flew kites with Uncle Naniel or played with trucks with Daddy or Grandma, but it has not been the same as the sleep -in Babymoon that I had with Malcolm.

When Salome was born at the end, I felt my body totally ripped open. I still hurt and tense when thinking about that last part, which even though the midwife told me it was only about seven minutes of pushing, is just a blur of pain and the terrifying feeling that I couldn't do it and that my body was in control not me. It is odd to think of Salome coming into the world that way because she is such a mellow being, and when I look at her we are such reflections of each other. She even prefers to sleep in all the positions I had to put myself in in order to birth her. But it is also true that I do not have as much time to gaze and reflect upon her. I would love my truth to be the reality that all the people I greet think that I must be living.

My actual truth is that on the first week Geoffrey had time off, my mother was here, and it seems like Nathaniel was around a bit. People were good at coming by to drop off food and ooh and aah at the baby. Many of them stayed too long and rendered me exhausted, but community was in tact. It still was not sleeping in with the baby the way that I envisioned which involved rarely leaving our bed except to use the bathroom. People began insisting that I come downstairs to eat very early on, and once downstairs I was fully in the chaos of family life. And I was always concerned about Malcolm so with part of my attention on the baby, part on my first born and part on healing, I usually felt like I didn't have enough time in any department and felt I was doing a disservice to someone somewhere.

Also, I was totally unprepared for how much nursing Salome would hurt. The cramps with nursing the second time around are so much more intense. While I say that she is not as aggressive of a nurser as Malcolm, I may not have been as generous of a mama because with every feeding I was anticipating the cramping that would come and she wanted to feed always and randomly.

Now, the men are back to work and are rarely seen it seems. My mother has left and while Salome is not yet one month old she is going with me to drop Malcolm at pre-school or to WIC appointments or to his music and swim class and the grocery store because I am the mom and have to do those things. I really wish that I had all the support to let someone else run all the errands and stay home with the kiddos, but Malcolm does need to be out and about and frankly he works harder than anyone else in this house to help me with his sister. He changes diapers, sings to her, pushes her in the baby swing, cuddles her and covers her in kisses, and helps me give her her vitamins in the morning. He even interprets her cries for me!

I am very grateful for the meals and playdates that our community has provided. I just wish it didn't feel like it was ending quite yet. On the other hand maybe if I look like I have been home resting while I have been trying to run around and care for the two kids, myself, the cat and the three chickens then maybe I am keeping it all together.

Stay tuned for pictures. I really want to post pictures and birth announcements, but I think right now I am going to go have tea and cuddles while the boy is at school.

Salome Did Arrive

2010-07-12T20:25:00.000-07:00

Well, we did wait and wait and wait for our little Twinkle to come, and she did at last on June 24th. It was a very spiritually timed moment. Our little Twinkle did turn out to be the little girl that everyone somehow expected. Somehow at some point or other the community collectively shifted from gender neutral terms and began to call her by girl pronouns. We all just sort of knew. Everything was so different from Malcolm.

We also know that if we had a girl she would be named after her grandmother Salome who so wanted to see Geoffrey and I have children, but did not quite make it. Our Salome was born exactly seven years after her grandmother's death to the exact day. Labor began on the first full moon after the summer solstice also. Apparently, many women went into labor that night as well.

There is so much that I want to say about the birth, and I will continue to write about it I think in many forms for a while. I am so grateful for my doula, Erica, who was such a powerhouse, and arrived looking fierce and Oshun-like with a bright orange tie-dyed shirt and her short maroon Afro. It was also amazing to have my whole family-especially Malcolm present the whole time. Sometimes I watched them through my contractions as if they were doing some sort of dance, and seeing how they all interacted and took care of their various needs-without me mostly which seemed curious to me.

I had started taking blue and black cohosh (the homeopathic not herbal versions) a couple of days before labor started. I had also been trying lots of other things especially long walks, Chinese food, and pineapple. Then we went about doing things that we needed to do that day, Wednesday the 23rd, we ran and errands and went to the library and then to my midwife's appointment. The midwife said that my uterus was so ready for labor that if I had been having contractions she would admit me to the hospital right then. She moved my membranes around a bit, and then we went to lunch Grandma, Malcolm and I. Malcolm said that he wanted eggs, and I wanted protein so we went to Village Inn. Salome, the last meal I ate before having you was at Village Inn although I did have some homemade chicken noodle soup later. The midwife's appointment was at 2:30, by 5:30 I was in labor.

I labored a long time on the birth ball at home. I went on a walk with Nathaniel. I listened to Sweet Honey in the Rock and a classical guitar CD that Susan gave me, and took many deep breaths and waited. Soon it was time to call Erica and Geoffrey who was working a few blocks away. We went out for a long walk with as many inclines as possible and that was when I noticed the full moon. The night was very silent, except for the occasional passing train, and as we walked through our little park on the hottest night of the year so far, it felt like a little forest or a small town sitting quietly in the night. Erica and Geoffrey held me up when we had to stop for contractions but kept encouraging me to push myself so that labor did not stall because it had so many times before and we wanted to see this child!

We went back to the house. Erica did Nia dances with me both on and off the ball. Geoffrey and Erica took turns walking me up and down the stairs. Mom gave me some broth of the chicken soup she had made that day. There was more music.

Eventually, at around 11:30, it was time to go to the hospital and Nathaniel scooped up Malcolm who was sleeping in his room and loaded him into the car. Malcolm came to on the way to the birth center. He sat in the car silently watching the lights of the cars and the buildings we passed by. We asked him if he knew where we are going, and he whispered "the birth center." He was quiet for the first couple of hours at the hospital but he said that he loved our apartment which was the labor room which had our own bathroom, music player, couch and many other amenities to make us feel at home.

During our time there I labored again on the ball, on the toilet, in the shower, squatting and standing. Malcolm and Geoffrey beat a rhythm on my back like a drum "Twinkle come out, Twinkle come out!" They said over and over again. Malcolm got in the hot tub with me which was close to the end. I kept dilating but my water wasn't breaking so eventually, I had the midwife break it. Then there was a long pause with no contractions. Then such an intensity of pain all I knew was that I could not be still. I kept twisting my body every which way and the midwife, Erica and Geoffrey did all that they could to hold on to me. Finally, our baby was born at 7:10 in the morning. We all joke that I asked "Is it out?" My mother asked, "Is it a girl, and lifted up her legs to check?" and Malcolm asked "is she white?" Malcolm asked that because she was very pale at first. Still it was a very happy arrival.

Waiting for Twinkle

2010-06-18T12:28:00.000-07:00

So today is Twinkle's due date, and it seems like there is a ton of anticipation in the community. I am restless waiting for this child that I feel like I have been waiting for for so long, far longer than the nine months that this one has been growing in my belly. I have been wanting a second child for a long time, but my longings were met with real comments from my husband that we were too poor, and that Malcolm was too young for another one. Both of those were probably true at the time, but when this little one started to grow and we were settled into a decent house, Malcolm was almost four, weaned, and starting to become independent and I was 36, I thought now is my shot. I am not letting anything in the way of having this baby. So I fought to get Medicaid since my insurance had just ended , settled into a new job, and continued my grad school application, but I felt better because I just felt our family would not be complete without one more.

Frankly, I am totally privileged to be able to make that choice at all when so many Black women before me could not. So I feel like I have fought like hell for this baby, and now I am waiting and waiting. Text messages are streaming in, facebook is lighting up, people from Colorado are calling my mother, and Malcolm keeps talking to my belly telling this baby to come out. There have been contractions for weeks, the mucus plug is gone, and still nothing. My water won't break. Geoffrey is being very African. He says, "Only in America do women expect birth to work according to the numbers on the calendar." But I want my baby, feel guilty for having time off to care for someone that does not want to arrive, am struggling to hold onto my belief in natural childbirth, and am increasingly tempted by the nurse midwives offer of pitocin.

I have told everyone to stop asking for status updates every fifteen minutes, and am really beginning to see that this child must be a girl because it behaves much more like me than its brother. Geoffrey was a month early. Malcolm was a week early. I was a month late (after three attempted inductions of pitocin, and the birth resulted in several longlasting complications).

Twinkle, dear one, we soo want to see you and behold you and know who you are. The community waiting for you is full of people from all around the world, the US, various parts of Africa, Russia, Latin America and more. We are mostly progressive and deeply committed to healing this messed up world which previous generations did not manage to put straight. WE desperately want to see you and shower you with love from your big brother, mama, baba, grandma, uncles, aunties and more. Please, please come soon! We are waiting, but we do know that you know your time more than any of us. I will try to honor your choice about when to arrive and wait in anticipation of hearing your voice. We all love you already. Our family is held up by so many hands that even if we fall a while I am sure that it shall be into an embrace. Please dear child come!

Rite of Passage: He is a Big Boy Now

2010-06-16T10:09:00.000-07:00

Wow! this week was definitely about rites of passage for Malcolm, and for mama too. For a couple of weeks now I have been having Braxton hicks contractions so we expect our little Twinkle star to arrive any moment. In fact, I expected twinkle long before now since Malcolm arrived at 39 weeks, and my due date is in two days. However; one thing that we have all learned in this process is that Twinkle is not Malcolm.

So during this time, Grandma arrived, and Malcolm got to go to his promotion ceremony at Mountain Valley. This was a good experience for him, and I think that it was important for him to move on when the other big kids that he grew up with there moved on. After the ceremony, they had a pajama party at school, and he decided that he wanted to spend the night there with his friends. He had wanted to go last year but then backed out when he realized mama wouldn't be sleeping there too. This time he hardly gave me a second glance. I can tell that he had a great time.

While he was sleeping over, I lost my mucus plug (while watching "Capitalism: A Love Story" with all the adults in the family) and thought for sure that this was a sign that labor would start in the morning and we may have to pick up big brother early. "Maybe this means I am carrying a little activist? " I thought. No such luck however; because in the morning there was not much happening with my body except anticipation, and tiredness I kept sleeping.

So Malcolm came back home for a couple of hours and then was off to one of his best friend's birthday party. When Uncle Nathaniel picked him up around 4:00 he fell asleep in the car on the way home and slept until the next morning for about 15 hours all together!

After that, we had a mellow day and then Grandma and Malcolm conspired to get him a Big Boy Bed. We had been reading about big boy and big girl beds a lot in all the library books we got about having a new baby brother or sister. To my shock, Malcolm said that he would love to get a Big Boy Bed, and we were off to Ikea and he has been sleeping in it the last two days. I miss my baby boy. It seems like a lot of development jumps all at one time, but I guess that is how growing up is, and it really was like a rite of passage weekend. Reminds me of when the young men were kidnapped from the villages in Africa and taken off from their mothers homes to become men. Still he is only 4! But definitely not a baby anymore-so Twinkle come on I have milk and love and empty bed for you!

More Tulip Festival Pics

2010-05-27T20:04:00.000-07:00

Malcolm also loved driving the old tractor and seeing some of the first steam trains at the Tulip Festival, but he wouldn't climb on the steam trains with the engineer. Maybe next year!

April and May Pics

2010-05-27T19:52:00.000-07:00

This year we went to the Tulip Festival again, but we were only able to make it on the last day, and we weren't able to take any friends with us. We had fun anyway. The weather was beautiful and so were the tulips. Next year when we go we will have the baby with us too!

Malcolm's Choir Debut!

2010-03-02T13:29:00.000-08:00

Some pictures from Chinese NEW Year

2010-02-21T12:58:00.001-08:00

A Magic Boat

2010-02-21T12:51:00.001-08:00

Here are some pictures of Malcolm making his magic boat. He loves Puff the Magic Dragon right now and wishes he could sail away and have wonderful adventures with Puff himself so we built a boat. I think that ours is at least as good as Jackie Paper's!

Malcolm's 4th Birthday part 2

2010-01-26T20:39:00.001-08:00

Malcolm's 4th Birthday Party!

2010-01-26T20:29:00.000-08:00

Malcolm's party was a lot of fun. We had a Chinese Lion dance, pinata, art, and a music jam session, and of course it was great fun to be with friends!

Malcolm's Christmas bike

2010-01-26T20:23:00.001-08:00

All Malcolm wanted for Christmas was a bike, and he got it. I only wish he did not have to wait all the way until Christmas because then it was very cold for a bike ride, but he loves it. I did have feelings about the pink and purple streamers, but he likes sparkles so what can I say. Santa listens to what the children want-well mostly anyway.

Updates

2010-01-11T00:23:00.000-08:00

Wow! I haven't blogged in months. I think that I am finally having some time to reflect on 2009, and wow what a whopper of a year. 2010 is also promising to be full of change, but I think that it is promising to be very exciting change. Malcolm will have a new sibling, and I may begin to take some graduate classes. It is all overwhelming. I have so many things to write about, but even though I am few weeks behind on this I want to make sure I get the lovely Christmas pageant pictures up then we can mover on to other things and I will try to catch up more soon. I should be sleeping, but my sleep schedule is crazy during this pregnancy so I will just roll with it.

This Little Light of Mine

2009-10-22T20:42:00.000-07:00

Night Night Mama

2009-10-22T20:34:00.001-07:00

We just put Malcolm to bed. There was nothing that out of the ordinary until we got to the end. He said, " I want to sleep in my bed." I said, "Ok" and prepared to crawl in his toddler bed with him to give him Mama's Milk. He said, "No, no mama's milk. I will see you in the morning mom." What happened? That was our last sacred time for mama's milk, and no cuddles? Just some stories, blankets, and a kiss goodnight? I don't know what to think of all this. It seems a lot for one night. At least I wanted my cuddles.

Malcolm the Firefighter

2009-10-06T21:03:00.000-07:00

Grandma sent Malcolm this outlandishly big fire truck from Colorado. It was quite an adventure into the Industrial Area to get the fire truck, but I have to admit that it is pretty adorable, and it is metal and paint rather than plastic so I took these really cute photos of him.

Looking for Herons-Finally some photos

2009-09-23T20:56:00.001-07:00

If you look really, really closely at the photo of the lake, you can faintly see one heron which was far away. Malcolm loves blue herons and for months I had planned on taking him to Smith and Bybee Lake which I read about in the Metro Parent in the Spring. I have to say that I was a little disappointed in the lake, and annoyed that in part of the lake you could hear the race track nearby, but Malcolm had a lot of fun and enjoyed the sheds for bird viewing. He liked pretending that they were houses he was living in. We did see many herons, and so it did not disappoint on that count. I think that I prefer Leach Botanical Garden though.

This Week

2009-09-16T21:10:00.000-07:00

First, everyone should know that the camera was located, I just did not use it to take pictures this week. I mostly used my cell phone, and therefore I don't have much to post just yet. This week we had a lot of fun taking care of our friends that we nanny. It is amazing to hear all of the words and concepts and ideas that Malcolm already knows that I had no idea he knew. Tonight in the bathtub, he told me he was going to go somewhere in his private boat. I did not know that he understood that the word private can be used to show that something belongs to someone. Now that I am writing this I think that this idea must have come from the book "Where the Wild Things Are" we have been reading that a lot lately, and Max rides in a private boat just for him.

He also has been practicing breast feeding and bottle feeding dollies. We have been around a lot of babies lately, and he is really enjoying the opportunity to be nurturing. He has also been acting out books again including checking out library books like Ron in his book Ron's Big Mission.

At Nico's house Malcolm taught Nico how to have counseling sessions which he knows many people have, and what can I say his uncle is a co-counselor and his grandma is a therapist. He got his friend a chair. They both sat down in the chairs. Malcolm said in a sweet welcoming voice "Hi, how are you?" then they giggled and giggled and giggled and then he said " It was good to see you. See you next week. Bye." Then they ran around the room, and Malcolm asked his friend again "Do you want to have a session?" Then they did it all again. It was very cute. I was in the kitchen washing dishes, but periodically I would look over at them and he would say "No mama, we're not done with our session."

You know you are an Oregonian when...

2009-09-04T20:21:00.000-07:00

Ok, first off I can not find my camera at the moment. It has been ss a week of losing things which happens when I am too stressed, and family life has been very stressful lately. I did take a very cute picture with my cell phone, but don't know how to get the pic from my phone to my computer so you all will have to wait a little bit for this photo. I usually try to be the really together mama on this blog, but this time I can't embellish it. I am a bit unorganized, but not totally. I am really get some areas of my life together.

Ok, back to being an Oregonian... You know you are an Oregonian when you want to make playdough with your son, and realize you are out of food coloring so you go to the park to pick Oregon grapes to dye your playdough. It was great. Huge mounds of beautiful purple dough. Luscious dough, wonderfully enough all the kids in the neighborhood want some. Even some of the kids that I pegged in earlier post as more hardened inner-city kids can't resist homemade projects, a little bit of attention, and Malcolm's smile. We tripled the recipe so we could give some to friends. Maybe next time we will multiple by six andalso take some to the Spanish Speaking kids up the street who we have been wanting to play with. Anyone know Spanish for Playdough?

Malcolm's Train Rides Part 4

2009-07-14T21:14:00.000-07:00

MAlcolm's Train Rides Part 3

2009-07-14T21:07:00.001-07:00

Malcolm's Train Ride Part 2

2009-07-14T21:03:00.001-07:00

Malcolm's Summer Time Train Rides PT 1

2009-07-14T20:54:00.000-07:00

Here are videos of him riding in the dome car through the Royal Gorge with Grandma and his cousins Matthew and Makaela. We also went on the train to the top of Pikes Peak where we had fresh donuts that reminded me of the mandazi we had in Kenya and hot chocolate. Life was good. Now we are all trying to get back to life in Portland, and Grandma is staying with us which is great. I am really missing Victor though and thinking a lot about the Family Reunion.

Malcolm in Chicago

2009-07-01T18:48:00.000-07:00

The windy city

Riding Thomas at Navy Pier

Playing in the water at Crown Fountain in Millennium Park

Reading in the Chicago Public Library

Taking the El

Malcolm and the Girl Across the Street

2009-06-20T20:49:00.001-07:00

Malcolm loves S, the girl across the street. He loves her soo much that he even made up an imaginary friend just like her, except the imaginary friend is always home and he is allowed to walk over to his house by himself in that world. I think that it is very cute. I hope that they are able to stay friends for a while because he is already missing Sequoia.

Surviving the Great Recession

2009-06-11T19:40:00.000-07:00

I have not had much time to blog lately, and honestly I have gotten a little distracted by the discovery of Facebook although I have not had much to say on there lately either.

I often read these beautiful blogs written by mamas who make all sorts of wonderful creations while caring for families of two or three kids and a more elaborate garden etc, and everything seems so blissful. Then I wonder, are they for real?

Ok, I adore my son and really do love my hubby, but it seems that it is taking all of me to just figure out how to survive in this economy and taking on all the side gigs here and there to stay afloat in this economy. Although the big news is that I am going back to school. I know that this will be hard on Malcolm when the time comes, but in the end I think that it will help us with our goal to be able to live in another country for a few years. We are very established in Portland, we have so much community here which is really hard to leave, but also every day that goes by and I realize that if something does not change I may have to send my son to public school and I explore these options I grow more panicked. I do not see a way to survive economically and homeschool my child, but what is going to happen to my beautiful little Black boy?

I know it is 2009, a Black man is president, but I have seen the deadness and despair in the eyes of many of the neighborhood children. I am haunted by my public school education in which I learned very well that anyone who looked at all like me and tried to make a difference was shot, and I learned that there is only one model of learning and if did not fall into you must be stupid.

I worry about him entering Kindergarten too late and being turned off early because he can not explore and be challenged, but not passing the test to enter into school early because while he can tell you about several models of trains and can not count in five languages he is not counting high enough in English or has not delved deeply enough in the areas they test and is not tested on the areas he has explored. Do they test on how many kinds of birds commonly found in the Pacific Northwest you can name? Do they test Kindergarteners for how much they know about the life cycle of a chicken, frog, or human child? How about how many countries and states you locate on the world map? How many dinosaurs you can name? How many songs you can sing, or rhythms you can play on the drums or guitars? How about how well you can dig with a garden hoe, plant beans, water your own garden or follow the growth of fruit? These are all things that Malcolm is intimately familiar as well as various models of trains, how to swing on a rope, build with blocks, make art and all the other things that a pre-schooler should know. He also knows that S is for Sequoia, Sela, and snake, and M is for Malcolm, Mama, and Maya and several other letters and associated words. He does not make the September cut-off though so what do I do if our little community school collapses and I can not find a new places that understands and yet have to work to survive and then find an elementary school, because I think that he will need to complete at least one year of school in this country before we can leave. Anyone have suggestions? Here are some pictures of him that one of the teachers at Mountain Valley took. He is wearing his Barack Obama "Yes, we did!" shirt.

Adorable Beach Pictures

2009-06-02T19:09:00.000-07:00

It has finally started to get hot in Portland, and since things have been so hectic lately, I am trying to embrace every opportunity to get Malcolm and I to beautiful settings. We both love blue herons and ended up at the beach in their pursuit. This time though, we just got to commune with the seagulls. That's ok, I am coming to appreciate seagulls out here. Some of these pictures are a little blurry because of the blowing sand. It was pretty windy on the beach last Wednesday.

A Moment to Pause

2009-05-25T15:16:00.000-07:00

We have been so busy lately that there has been no time to write which is very unfortunate, because there have been so many things that I have wanted to write about. Malcolm has been keeping his busy social schedule. I think that he has much more community and friends than the average three year old around here. Keeping up with all that keeps me very busy, but honestly as I talk to more parents it seems that they do not spend nearly as much helping their children deepen their relationships with their peers. It seems that is rarely prioritized, and I wonder why. In many ways it is much easier for me when Malcolm has other children around. He is entertained and the adults in the house do not have to perform, we are able to get much more done, and he is much less crabby than usual in the evenings because he is so happy to play and less focused on being tired and hungry and wanting immediate gratification. Often, it is also means that the adults in the house get to connect with other adults as well, so other than a little extra clean-up and perhaps a slightly later bedtime, I don't really see the downside. He is so enriched by having those relationships and challenged to learn and grow in many other ways that I feel that it is really important.

I think that perhaps other people just feel that they want more time to just be with their families, and I often feel that way, but I often think that adding more children and parents at least weekly just intensifies the quality of that time. I don't know, perhaps I am not really explaining it well, or perhaps I feel this way because of my cultural perspective and the cultural perspectives of other adults in the house. All the other adults in the house grew up in places where extended family was the norm, and although it was mostly my mom and I growing up she did have a very large social network of family friends that help raise me and that is where I learned my community-building skills.

I am often struck though by how different the world is that Malcolm is growing up in. I often hear people say that Portland is not diverse, but they must live in a different Portland than we do. On our block all the families with children have bilingual parents, and all of them are bilingual in different languages Tongan, Swahili, Spanish, and probably more that I have not discovered further down the street. They all ride their bikes, watch out for the neighborhood raccoon, tell stories about what our chickens do when they get out, and new friends are starting to play in our garden or hang out with us in the park.

Malcolm does not see language as a barrier to play. He sees every child around his age as a friend he hasn't met yet. He already knows that he can be president, and he loves his large group of important adults.

We have been spending lots of time in the garden since the sun returned to the Rose City. Last year, I never took pictures of the garden this year I want to make sure that I keep tabs on its evolution. So here are some pictures that I took in the last few days, but there have already been some major changes that will need to be posted later.

Making Bread

2009-04-26T17:24:00.001-07:00

I have been really inspired in the breadmaking department lately. It helps me feel that I am connected to women and ancestors all over the world, and that no matter what the economy does that I can feed my family. I wish that we had enough land that I could take all this urban farming to the next level, but I am able to grow some of the herbs for the bread and harvest the eggs from our yard, that is a great start, but what I wouldn't give for a little land, some fresh honey and a garden overflowing with food and flowers to frolic and learn in. In the meantime, I am still experimenting with the bread. Here are the pictures of my last batch of abundant loaves for the family.

New Life, New Struggles, New Growth

2009-04-26T15:54:00.000-07:00

It is definitely still Springtime, and I am thrilled that some little bit of sunshine has finally returned to Portland. If you don't live in the Pacific Northwest or perhaps a tropical rainforest then you may not know what it is like to feel like your feet are starting to mold, and that perhaps that myth about Oregonians growing duck feet is not that far off. I am not really designed for that, and my husband, being a native of Kenya in East Africa is definitely not designed for all that rain. To top that off the little that we managed to preserve from our first year garden last year has all been depleted. I am so tired of grocery store food, I am aching for sun and food directly from our backyard. The recession has also hit our house, neighborhood church, just life in general. We have a friend, another Kenyan immigrant staying with us because he has not been able to find a job for months, our neighbors next door have an in-law staying with them for the same reason and another part of community village has lost her job as well. So I have been thinking more and more about the adage that "real revolutionaries grow their own food."

It seems like despite our best efforts at nonviolent communication, or general togetherness this house has been full of very loud processing while all of the struggles that we face come up. Honestly, it is all here we are very diverse household. Two of us are immigrants, one of us is a child, one of us is queer, most of us are Black, and let just say that income is enough at the moment, but you never know, it can still be tenuous. So Easter fell in the midst of all this, and brought with it the message of new life and I started processing that. Then I had an issue with my tooth that brought unbearable pain, but one of my coworkers at school put me on to squirting Echinacea directly on the area. The earth is miraculous! This was amazing, and then this same week we got our baby chicks.

Here are some pictures of our garden starting to come alive, and the new baby chicks. I still have at least three posts worth of topics to cover today, but I will try to break them into sections so that you can all read the parts that are most interesting to you.

My favorite moments

2009-04-12T19:44:00.000-07:00

These days my favorite moments are when Geoffrey and Malcolm are sleeping and I am lying on the bed listening to them. It so sweet and so peaceful.

The other thing that I love is gazing at our garden, the chicken, our vegetable starts growing and the circle of tulips around the plum tree which is now in bloom. I can gaze out the window endlessly at it on rainy days and just sit and play the rest of the days. I am also noticing that the native Currant and Salmonberry bushes that I planted are thriving.

Garden hikes in the city

2009-04-08T16:32:00.000-07:00

Today Malcolm and I finally made it to the Honeybee Hike in Leach Botanical Gardens. I had read about it in the Metro Parent which is my guide to events kid-related in the city. It was a lot of fun and I felt like I had discovered a whole new world in Portland that I had not known about. I would not have expected this beautiful forested area to be off of 122nd. I am posting pictures here of Malcolm looking at the little pond. He was trying to see if he could see the frog eggs. I promised him that we can go back when the tadpoles hatch, and he also loved looking at the mallard duck couple. The theme of the walk was shapes so we went through the garden trying to find different shapes in the flowers and the leaves.
Malcolm trying to see the frog eggs in the pond-"When are the baby frogs coming mama? When will the eggs open?

Two Mallard ducks graced us with their presence.

My Little Lion

2009-04-07T18:53:00.000-07:00

Malcolm has really been into being a lion lately. It was this game that started at Mountain Valley a long time ago, and then never really stopped. Malcolm rushes to get into the lion costume as soon as we get to school, and will only take it off long enough to use the potty, and only if I reassure him that I will save the lion costume until he is done peeing which I faithfully do lest disaster occur.

He did have a week of biting at school which was hard on all of us as a community, but it seems that a week off for spring break was just what he needed. He says that he wants to be a happy lion now that gives hugs, although mostly he only wants to do it to his favorite people.

He is growing in so many ways, but in other ways he is really a mystery to me at this point. He can express so many things and tells elaborate stories, but there is a way that he is separating himself from me too. These days he really wants Daddy or Uncle much of the time and does not want mama.

I know that this is a part of growing up, although this is making my I want another baby hormone go wild too, but of a part of me is injured. I am sort of indiginant " Hey remember you came out of my body? Quite painfully I might add, and I have rearranged my world for you and to spend time with you and home and community school you and teach you about art and music, and how to make things and go on endless train rides with you? Remember me?"

Also, for the past two days he has refused to nap for me. He is obviously exhausted but he just won't sleep and then he spends the rest of the afternoon bursting into tears, and I try to use all my nonviolent communication to empathize our way through. The problem is you are supposed to give yourself empathy first, and I always skip that part. I know I am not supposed to forget that part, but I don't really know how to do it. Is anyone willing to shout "Stop self-empathy first" at me the next time he is screaming?

Signs of Spring

2009-04-06T19:39:00.001-07:00

Spring has finally begun to spring in Portland. There is talk of chickens everywhere! We went to a tuplip festival, and our garden has been completely transformed into an urban homestead. I will post pictures of that soon, but am still plagued with a few technical difficulties. There do still seem to be a lot of uncertainities in the air, the recession is definitely impacting Portland, but when the sun comes out after all those months of "liquid sunshine" and we all get our much needed doses of vitamin D, everyone's mood changes.

I am also uplifted by other things. I am taking a class with Geoffrey and Nathaniel in Nonviolent Communication with Children. I love this class! I can not really get enough of it. I can't say that I have perfected it, epsecially in some of those more heated moments, but it does give me another perspective and way of looking at things, and a different way of approaching other family members in the house. In fact, it has given me a whole new set of tools for communicating with many people at Mountain Valley as well as at home. It is continuing to shift my thinking in terms of how I want to raise Malcolm, and educate him.

I am really open to a lot of possible futures for Mountain Valley, but it would be great if it became a charter school and then it would really be a special place for kidsof multiple ages where we could really venture out into the city and other parts of the wide wide world to learn about all sorts of things.

I am also learning a lot more about permaculture, simple living, and many other things. I am just dying to dive into all of these inter-connected areas and recreate myself and create the world with Malcolm and my family. I have been saying lately that what I really want to do is to make stuff, grow stuff, and create stuff. Malcolm is done baking pumpkin bread with his Uncle. I got to go-bathtime.

Family Photos

2009-03-15T15:55:00.000-07:00

My long lost brother ( he would probably say that I am the one that was lost) came into this week for a visit. So Malcolm got to meet his Uncle Victor. It was great. We got to learn a little bit about what he discovered about the Bridgeman family tree, and connect. We went to a wodnerful Korean restaurant called Toji. By the time we got back though Malcolm was totally exhausted. We kept him out way past bedtime.

Daddy's Back from Kenya!

2009-03-02T13:25:00.001-08:00

Geoffrey finally arrived yesterday. I can not express how much we missed him, and it seems like the world shifted as soon as he arrived. Malcolm is more excited and fulfilled than I have seen him in a long time. In fact they went out to ride the Max train while I worked on our taxes ( still not finished) and worked on updating the blog.

Here are some pictures of the reunion. Geoffrey showered us with beautiful African clothes!

Malcolm' Trip with Uncle

2009-03-02T13:17:00.001-08:00

On Valentine's Weekend Nathaniel took Malcolm on a little trip up to the Olympic Peninsula to give me a much needed break, a chance to get a little respite before Geoffrey came home a few weeks later. He got to meet his little cousins up there, at least we think of them as cousins. Nathaniel's family is ours after all.

It's a New Day!

2009-01-21T17:03:00.000-08:00

Dear Malcolm,
We Did IT ! We elected an African-American president in the true sense of the word, and more than that we elected Barack Obama a man of almost unspeakable integrity and compassion with a great sense of history. He was inaugurated 6 days before your real third birthday. We watched it at Mountain Valley with other Black children. I had you and Maya both on my lap. At points in the speech you applauded on cure, and at points you jumped up and a\down hands in the air chanting "Yes, we can."

I can not explain to you the shock that I feel at this whole event. I am still taking it all in. I am so happy that I can tell you now that you can be anything that you want to when you grow up, and not feel on some level that I am lying because of the plight of Black men in America. I feel that on the day that man took office that for the first time I became an American. Even though I was born on this soil. Even though my fathers' ancestors built this country as slaves. Even though my mother's ancestors arrived here on the Mayflower, and later became syffragists, I never felt that I was an American. I always felt too alien to have that title apply to me. I seemed to belong to all the wrong groups, or at least not to belong to write ones. Now, seeing a Beatuiful Black Man and Black Family stepping into the doors of the white house built by slaves like our ancestors as President and First Lady, and hearing him recognize people of all faiths but especially the Muslim community, recognizing people of all kinds, queer, straight, poor, rich, Black, white, and every hue in between, I feel healed but shocked.

What we have overcome my child! How far we have yet to go, but how much we have overcome! Someday you will learn how your grandmother was beaten fighting for injustice. Someday you will know what your parents went through just trying to be who we are, and how hard it is even to figure out how to love each other because of all the oppresions we must live through.

This world that we live in now is crazier even than the one I inherited from my parents. I thought that there was no way that you would live in a better place than me. I thought surely you would still face racial profiling as well as global warming, terrorism, and endless war, but now something is better than it ever has been. Some healing has happened, and if nothing else we have managed to give you a gift, a better more hopeful world than I ever imagined.

I am finally starting see what Dr. King must have felt like living in the times he did. I now see that we also live in great and historic times. I am still trying to process what I can do to heal from the past and rise to the call that the present is putting forth. I need a moment to get some rest, catch my breath, to figure out what direction God wants me to go, but I am so happy that you my beautiful milk chocolate sweet, sweet son can grow up in a world in which your humanity will be more recognized and your potential more acknowledged than was ever possible before.

Please take a moment to look at these photos. How beautiful are the Obamas? Do you see President Obama laying his hand on the same bible that Abraham Lincoln used. History has a way of coming back in cycles. There have been so many invocations of Dr.King that I think that at times I have felt him sitting next to me. In my mind, Ihave seen him embrace President Obama with pride and then whisper "Mr. President, there are a few things I would like to discuss with you tomorrow." Let us believe that Dr.King is doing the work of saints and ancestors and guiding our president still.

Thank you America for being able to take a risk, and for being willing to finally look at the racism within us and say "Yes, We can" anyway.

Malcolm, I can not wait to see what you will do in this world.

The Birthday Cake

2009-01-17T17:46:00.001-08:00

Uncle Curtis and Uncle Nathaniel baked and decorated Malcolm's beautiful train cake. It was quite an effort. The began baking the night before the party at 6:00pm and went until around 3:00am I think. Then they continued on the day of the party from 12:30 to 4:00. The party began at 5:30. It was beautiful! We have a community with lots of dietary restrictions so it had no dairy or wheat flour ( they used oat flour instead), but the icing had about 6lbs of powdered sugar. It was as sweet as their affection for you Boo!

All Aboard for Malcolm's Birthday Part 4

2009-01-17T17:41:00.001-08:00

All Aboard for MAlcolm's Birthday Part 3

2009-01-17T17:28:00.001-08:00

All Aboard for MAlcolm's Birthday Part 2

2009-01-17T17:24:00.001-08:00

All Aboard for Malcolm's Birthday Part 1

2009-01-17T17:14:00.000-08:00

We had Malcolm's birthday party at the Children's Museum this year. It was superfun as Malcolm and I are bound to say. Malcolm helped mama and Grandma pick out the train plates and train birthday hats and everything for his party. He also approved the choice of the Children's Museum, and almost all of his friends showed up. We really have made a tradition having a wonderful time when we have a community celebration of Malcolm, and this one was a great hit. Malcolm has so many friends that we had to have an after hours party so we could invite more children, and we did have about 24 children (not including babies in arms) in attendance.

Here are pictures from our celebration. I will post additional ones later. Jessica also sent me a link to pictures that she took at the party, but I have not quite figured out how to download those pics in a way that I can post them here.

These pics show him and some of his friends, and also the beautiful birthday room that we had at the Children's Museum. There are too many to attach to one post so I will have to split it up among a few posts.

Introducing Luna Paka

2009-01-17T17:08:00.000-08:00

We adopted a young neighborhood cat, he is older than a kitten, but definitely still not a full grown cat. We met him the first few times at night and named him Luna, which really is a very common Mountain Valley name. There are several children and animals named Luna in the Mountain Valley Community. Anyway, Malcolm has really been struggling with how much he misses his Daddy, who he no longer refers to as Daddy or Baba, but has regressed to more of a baby state referring to him as Dada. Luna brings him a lot of comfort, and he really likes taking care of him.

Malcolm as Dinosaur Dentist

2008-12-26T07:44:00.001-08:00

His First Ski lesson

2008-12-26T07:36:00.000-08:00

Debra Lynn loves snow, and when we had this snow fall she started asking to have Malcolm over to play in the snow. For Christmas she gave him her old pair of skis that she and her brother used to use when they were growing up. Malcolm had not been very happy with the snow either since mostly it has meant that he has not been able to get to see his friends and his community, but he was thrilled to spend time with Debra Lynn, and she did seem open a whole new world to him with the skis. He loved skiing down the little hill between out houses, and it did rescue Christmas to me in a way. After getting stuck trying to get to a Christmas gathering and not making it, it was quite beautiful to see them skiing as the sun set and the moon rose on our quiet, snow-laden street.

Opening Presents

2008-12-26T07:23:00.001-08:00

We had a sweet little Christmas overall, although I really do have to say that has been too white. We are all tired of getting stuck trying to get where we are going, and did not make the Christmas party later that day, but Malcolm did enjoy opening his gifts. Most of his gifts were made of natural wood.

Overall, Santa brought him wooden trains, and wooden food for his kitchen. The veggies that you can cut are a great hit with him. However; Santa did also bring him a rather odd green dinosaur that he can rde on and that makes strange noises etc. I am not quite sure about this dinosaur perhaps an errant elf snuck her in.

Snow Storm

2008-12-23T15:12:00.000-08:00

Here is a picture of the snow storm, but I will add more because the snow got deep enough the cover the little orange wagon, and my legs up to my knees.

'Tis the Season

2008-12-23T15:06:00.001-08:00

Here are pictures of Malcolm decorating the Christmas tree and making gingerbread cookies at home.

Malcolm and the Chickens

2008-12-23T15:01:00.001-08:00

Malcolm loves his chickens, and he has gotten really good at helping me take care of them. However; things on the chicken front have really taken a bad turn as Portland faced the worst snowstorm, or really set of snow storms in the last 40 years. Chloe, my favorite little red hen was killed by a raccoon who also tried to get in the coop to finish the job with the last two yesterday, but I brought them into the house and safety. When are not covered in a ton of snow, Malcolm always checks their water and likes to stay outside playing with the chickens, watching them eat, and imitating the way their beaks move.

Ms. Sophie's Party

2008-12-07T19:01:00.000-08:00

I was going to write about our blissful day after Thanksgiving at the beach before posting these pictures, but did not find the time to do it justice, and now of course I am sick again. In the days of sickness in the winter months, I think that it is best for me to just get the pics up as fast as I can, last year sickness kept me from posting for months and I still feel bad about that.

We did have a wonderful time at the beach though. We just went because Boo wanted to see the ocean. We went with Uncle Nathaniel( boo calls him Uncle Nanyel), we ate wonderful seafood, chased the tide, and flew kites until we were exhausted and cold. Malcolm loved like at the sea life including a visiting heron and jellyfish, but alas I left my camera behind that day.

Here are the pics from Ms. Sophie's b-day party. He is still talking about taking the max train through the tunnel with the light on and then getting out to see Sophie. Ok, I am going to get these pics posted so I can get back to taking care of my cold.

Thanksgiving kids

2008-12-01T17:03:00.001-08:00

We had a lovely Thanksgiving this year, although of course we are still missing the Daddy who is in Kenya and very quiet.

In the morning Uncle Curtis came over with his parents for brunch. Nathaniel, Malcolm and I made a fritata, coffee cake, sausage and coffee. The chickens helped too by providing us with some nice fresh eggs for the fritata. Truth be told Uncle Nathaniel did more of the cooking and I did more of the talking, but no one should really be surprised by that.

Later we went over to Ms. Willie's for dinner with our church family. It was a lot of fun. Here is a picture of the children who were over for Thanksgiving dinner.

Grandma' House

2008-11-23T19:15:00.000-08:00

We went to Grandma's house right after the election. Grandma was retiring and we went as part of a big surprise party. Then when we returned we celebrated Baba's birthday and then he flew to Kenya. We still have not heard much from Kenya and we miss him. Here are some pictures from our time in Colorado.

Yes We Did

2008-11-23T18:46:00.000-08:00

I can not believe that it has taken me so long to write this post, but I want to take a moment to reflect on how incredible it was to see Barack Obama elected. Geoffrey and I had made plans to go out that night to the convention center and watch the results come in. We were going to make a date of it. Despite the fact that Obama was ahead in the polls, I was sure that it would be a long night. I didn't trust the polls after the last election. Nathaniel brought us dinner and we all ate and watched the early results then Nathaniel put Malcolm to bed and Geoffrey and I went out to a coffee shop where I knew the results would be on TV. We had hardly settled into our mochas at 8:00pm Pacific time when the electoral count went to 284 and the coffee shop erupted in joyful screams. I was so shocked! I could not believe that it could be over so early! That it was real, and that unlike the election of 2000 where the initial results were later reversed, that it would not be taken away. Geoffrey started screaming in the streets nad the neighbors around the coffee shop joined him. As we drove to the convention center we heard John McCain's concession speech on the radio and called my mom on Geoffrey's cell phone. When we entered the convention center there was amazing drumming playing and Geoffrey stopped and had his picture taken with the drummers who were also protesting the war in Iraq. When we finally settled into a room to watch the acceptance speech, the enormity of the event came over me. Malcolm, you will never know what it is to grow up in a world where a Black man like you can not be president. You will hear stories that I tell you about the experiences I had growing up, or that your grandmother tells you about the freedom rides, and how you and I and Sequoia and your Godmother and many others all worked hard organizing for Obama to make a change, but now you will grow up with so many more possibilities! The next day I saw Jesse Jackson interviewed. He had the sort of after glow that follows only momentous occasions like the birth of your child or great political achievements. His face reflected his years, his relief, and his many exposed spiritual and emotional wounds. He said that he could not sleep the night before. The cameras showed the video footage watching Barack Obama's acceptance speech at Grant Park the night before, tears were streaming down his face. He talked about what this meant for him and how he remembered his grandfather a Black man that could not even read, and now a Black man could be president. Later I saw an interview with Andrew Jackson who said that Martin Luther King did not even believe that Black people would make into Congress until Malcolm's generation. He talked about the pain of the civil rights movement and for the first time, I really came to understand and appreciate how much my parents' generation suffered. I began to understand why my mother still will not tell me what happened to her on the freedom rides. I began to understand why Jesse Jackson made inappropriate remarks under his breath. I know my own pain from racism, but I have never seen a whites only bathroom or drinking fountain. To me that reality lies only in stories and story books and for Malcolm a time when race or gender alone determines your ability to take public office will lie only in stories and story books. For so long I have felt outside of the US, but suddenly I feel completely a part of it. For the first time I feel that this is my country too, I am excited to make phone calls to decision makers and to participate in my government and to make it work for my children and the world. For the first time in a long time, I feel that we as a people can come together look at the reality of what divides us and overcome it. We have a long way to go, but I must thank this Senator from Illinois for giving hope back to me, so that I can also bare the burden of working so hard to make this world better for my son. Thank you Mr. President-Elect for showing me that yes we shall overcome. In fact Yes, we did!

Happy Halloween

2008-11-02T15:06:00.000-08:00

Most of you know that Malcolm is really, REALLY into trains so this year he wanted to be a MAX train which is the light rail train that runs through Portland, specifically he wanted to be the yellow line which runs closest to our neighborhood. However; it seems that by Halloween he had changed his mind to the blue line, but I had already painted the yellow line. Anyway, the Max train costume required quite a bit of preparation and that kept us all quite busy. Jessica painted the driver, I painted most of the train and wrapped the white paper around the cardboard box and rain-proofed it, and Nathaniel added the final touch-the headlights. Here are few of our Halloween pics.

The first one is from school it is Malcolm with his friend Lulu. The pictures below include Curtis, Jessica, Sequoia, Malcolm and myself.

Salmon Festival 2008

2008-10-19T19:59:00.000-07:00

Learning a Little Bit About Community Service

2008-10-16T19:19:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday, the last day of our weekend, Malcolm and I uprooted the collards and kale that had been planted in the spring, and took three big garbage bags full to the Oregon Food Bank, and one big garbage bag full to Mountain Valley. You all should have seen the size of the worms that came up in our little plot. We still have lots of yummy collards and broccoli in our back yard, but it was definitely time to rejuvenate our side garden bed.

We donated 31 lbs of produce to the Oregon Food Bank, and the children at the school got to have collards in all their lunches for the rest of the week at Mountain Valley. I am so excited that he loves eating things that he sees growing all the time.

Sometimes, I hear doubts from other parents that Malcolm can understand all the things that I explain to him, but I think that children understand far more than we give them credit for and I can tell by our conversations that he gets most of it. We are entering an age where we are beginning to have really exciting conversations, on a simple levels, but about an amazing range of topics about our world.

On the trip to the Food Bank, I explained to him that our family had some really hard times when it was very difficult for us to afford food, especially good food and that many people helped us so, now when we have extra food we want to share with others who need help like we did. I left it at that. We dropped off the food and went home for nap.

Here is a picture of the inside of the food bank where we dropped stuff off.

The Obama Post

2008-10-04T18:39:00.000-07:00

Today I woke up early for a Saturday to drop off the goodies Nathaniel and I had made at the "Bake Sale for Change" for Barack Obama's campaign. I still ended up running late so Nathaniel cooked breakfast from Malcolm while I dropped stuff off, and then came back to get Malcolm dressed we could go canvassing, and be back in time to see his little friend Sophie when she came over. I have tried to do as much as I could for Obama. I figure I have done most of the major campaign activities at least once. I absolutely do not want my son to believe that it impossible for a Black man to be president. I want him to believe and keep saying "Yes, we can!" I feel that it is imperative for his cultural identity, and self-esteem. So my dear little freedom fighter, here is mama's list of what I have done so far to make sure that we turn this country and world around so that when you inherit the earth it will be inhabitable. Your mama's Obama list

We went to Obama's largest rally in the country that took place prior to his nomination acceptance speech, and waited for two hours on the hottest day of the year in Portland. I nursed you in the grass while spoke and then you sat on your Baba's shoulders and shouted "Yes, we can!" with 75,000 others.
Mama donated to the campaign (her first time ever donating to a political candidate's campaign).
Mama and Malcolm registered voters at the Farmers' Market.
Mama phonebanked for the campaign (once so far)
Mama canvassed in our old neighborhood in East Portland which is full of undecided voters, many of whom are new immigrants. We educated some of these immigrants on Obama's stand on issues important to them.
Attended a concert fundrasier
Bought lots of Obama shirts and stuff

Now, I do not know how I will fit it into the schedule, but I am also going to try to canvass or phone bank for the Portland Children's Initiative too so I can make sure that we maintain our early childhood fund in the city. Beyond that baby I am just trying to community building, justice, nonviolent communication and love at your school, and raise you to be the best person that you can be. I am including pictures of some of the goodies that we ended up with from the bake sale and Aunty Jessica picking blackberries for Malcolm and Sequoia on our way home from canvassing.

2008-10-04T18:25:00.000-07:00

Today Sophie, Malcolm's long-lost love from Mountain Valley, came over for a playdate after all of our morning Obama-oriented activities were over. It was great to see her after a few months away. I am continually astonished by how much young children develop in just a few months. After a few minutes of adjustment she was ordering Malcolm around and he was accommodating her. They were just the little pair. Sophie would fill Malcolm's wagon with blocks and then tell him when to dump it out, and they would squeal with joy. Then they would give each other turns pushing the other in the wagon, they played dress up and ate goodies from the Obama bake-sale for snack. It was all a great hit. Then we went into the yard to chase the chickens. Sophie did not want to leave, so Malcolm blew her a kiss. Then was the magical moment. Sophie bent over and give him a sweet little kiss right on the mouth! His first one! It was one of those little aaah! moments for both of the mamas. It was very sweet, and they both blew each other kisses and Sophie was strapped in her car seat to go take her nap.

I have to admit, I was very relieved Malcolm had missed her so much. I know that he is going to have to grieve people coming and going, but I really don't want him to have to yet. I really want him to have deep roots and people that he grows with. Maybe this is so important to me because I felt like I never really had roots. We moved around a lot, and it was hard even to keep up with family. I didn't have those long last friendships from early childhood, and I didn't have a sense of a cultural community either once my dad stopped being around. I really want Malcolm to have a strong sense of community and who he is, and all the people that love him.

Here are pictures of him with Sophie.

malcolm waiting for the max train

2008-09-30T15:57:00.000-07:00

Unschooling malcolm

2008-09-29T23:24:00.000-07:00

So today was one of those days when I realize how much he is learning, and how integrated that learning is into everything. First, he is counting everything. Today we counted birds in English and Swahili, and then some of the birds flew away then we counted again and realized they were less.

We worked on colors by naming the colors of each and every car of the freight train that went pass. We have been talking about when events take place by where they fall in our routine. Here is an example, "Malcolm, we are going to see Benjamin tomorrow." (Benjamin is one of his best friends-they are like cousins) "Benjamin! Get dressed, see Benjamin!" "No, Benjamin is sleeping. We are going to take a bath, brush teeth, read a story, sleep, wake up, eat breakfast, get dressed, play, and then see Benjamin." Then Malcolm rattles off that order of events. We have also been talking about days by when the moon and the sun sleep. It has really been amazing to how he is growing, and is really working on becoming a three year old.

He is also really interested in reading now. He is asking me to read a lot of things to him. Oh, and one more thing he still loves Obama. Tonight when he was resisting going to bed, I had to reassure him that Barack Obama was also sleeping.

On Spiders, Caterpillars, Being two, and Trains

2008-09-28T21:46:00.000-07:00

Malcolm has had a bit of challenging time adjusting to me being a teacher at his school, and he has been going through some challenges. All of these are very appropriate challenges for being two. He has been going through a hitting and pulling hair phase that has driven me crazy, but I think that we are getting through it. We have been doing a lot of talking about all the fun and positive ways we can get our friends' attention if we want to play with them. That seems to be working, but it is still a process.

Yesterday, I wasn't feeling well. I had a bladder infection so when my bubbly boy woke up at 6:30, I handed him to Uncle Nathaniel. Then they went out to the garden. Since the beginning of September I have noticed that spiders are everywhere in the garden, and yesterday was no exception. Nathaniel and Malcolm counted spiders and then apparently took note of their patterns and went to the computer to look up what type of spider they were.

This train of thought really excited Malcolm. I think that he loved the idea that something he could find in our garden would also appear in the computer.

Later, after I had been to the doctor and he had played for a while at Aunty Diane's and had a nap, we sat outside in the sunshine on the sidewalk. I didn't feel like doing anything too active, but figured we should soak up all the rays that God affords us now because the rains will be here soon enough. So I thought we could just sit there and look at things near where we were sitting and discuss them. At that moment at caterpillar went by so we watched the caterpillar. Malcolm did not want me put anything in the path of the caterpillar or to pick it up.He asked if he could touch it, but I wasn't sure what type of caterpillar it was, and some can cause allergic reactions so I said "No." So we watched the caterpillar walk by.

A little bit later we went into the garden in the back and then counted all the caterpillars we could find. I tried to identify our caterpillar friends with him on the computer later, but all I could figure out is that they are more likely to become moths than butterflies, but I am not sure what kind of moths. The caterpillars too are very recent guests, and I really love that we are learning so much about all the more subtle changes the seasons bring to our area.

The garden really has kept us busy. We have tomatoes growing to an unbeliavable amount. We have made salsa and tomato sauce and cooked with the tomatoes and given some away and we still have more. I am in fact planning on calling the Oregon Food Bank to see if we can donate some of our garden produce. I think that it will be a great civic lesson for Malcolm.

There were many days in which we got food boxes from the food bank when things were tight and he was a baby. I think that it is really wonderful to give back to the same source that gave to us when we have extra so that others who are struggling will be blessed the way we were blessed in the midst of our struggles.

Today was Sunday so we had church. Malcolm now goes to the pre-school class upstairs. It is called the Fish Class. Even though he was not quite three yet, I wanted to make sure tht he moved up with his little church friends that he loves so much, and in that setting he is really thriving. He was so excited to go to Sunday School today that he could not wait throughout the church service that comes before the children go upstairs. He kept shouting "Children go upstairs!" The new teacher up there loves him too, and speaks very highly of how well he does. I am glad that he is starting to get a spirtual education, and we are starting to have wonderful conversations about all kinds of things because he language is developing so fast.

After church Malcolm went on a journey with his Baba. Geoffrey had to take him to the Max, the lightrail that passes through Portland. Geoffrey had planned to take the Max through the tunnel on the way to the zoo, but Malcolm wanted to get off downtown so Geoffrey decided to take the trolley to the Lloyd Center. Geoffrey talked to the driver, and let him know how much Malcolm loves trains and other public transportation vehicles so the driver let Malcolm sit with him upfront and help. He got to pull the trolley bell and tell all the people to get off the train on the loud speaker. Geoffrey said the people really laughed to hear a two year old announce "Get off the train!"

I love that he gets to have all these adventures and learn about all different things in Portland. I do really feel that he is developing a sense of his place here, and in fact I am learning a lot about the Pacific Northwest too. I can't wait until the Salmon Festival!

Malcolm's Cutest Kid in the Universe Pic

2008-09-06T00:15:00.001-07:00

I am really going to send this picture into the parenting magazine I get. They have a cutest kid in the universe section every issue, and I have been waiting for just the right picture for my Boo to make his debut, and here it is! You just can't beat this in terms of silliness!

We have been harvesting lately

2008-09-05T23:59:00.000-07:00

On top-apple picking with Auggie across the street from our house. Our neighbor said we could take as many as we wanted, and we were dreaming of apple sauce.

The bottom picture-Berry Picking at Sauvie Island just before the naptime crash.

This summer has been all about food, picking berries on Sauvie's Island, making jam and tomato sauce from our harvest, and apple picking. I have fallen in love with hanging out in the sunshine watching my Boo go around naked or half naked munching on whatever he could find growing. It has made Malcolm's body healthier and has been better for my spirit.

We are also going through lots of transitions now. I have taken a job at Mountain Valley, his nursery school that I have mentioned earlier in this blog, and left the African Women's Coalition. Now I get spend a lot more time with Malcolm, and get to teach children in a loving community environment builds community and heals some of the pain of living in such an individualistic society.

I love spending this time with the children and giving Malcolm this opportunity to has such a supportive village experience, but there are a lot of adjustments as he gets used to me in his space and I get used to being an absolutely full time mom.

Obama Pics

2008-07-08T23:18:00.001-07:00

I am so glad that we took him to this rally, and that we had the opportunity to participate in history. I was so proud of Portland that day, and Malcolm learned to chant "Yes, we can!

There were 75,000 people in this historic march which was in May just before the primary.

Malcolm's Hospital Photos

2008-07-08T22:50:00.000-07:00

On June 5th, 2008 Malcolm had surgery on his teeth. He healed, but we just endured.

Malcolm Before Surgery on His Teeth

2008-07-08T22:42:00.000-07:00

This experience was so hard. No breastmilk or food for our Boo from 11:00pm until after his surgery and recovery at around 4:00 the next day. One sad, sore, drugged toddler, one completely worried and nervous mama, one traumatized daddy and one fairly calm uncle.

Malcolm's Easter Eggs

2008-07-08T22:40:00.001-07:00

Catching UP

2008-07-08T21:50:00.000-07:00

This spring has been so full of commotion and activity that I have had no time at all to keep up with the blog. I have really missed it, and kept thinking I would find time overall Memorial Day weekend or 4th of July, and now we are in the middle of summer and I have not even posted the Easter pictures,missed pics of the beach because I did not have the right batteries and are just sitting down to talk about how my family has completed fallen for Obama.

We had fun at Easter, and colored Easter eggs. That was a messy process, but fun but not like last year's Easter. I missed our friend's ritual of thinking about what we wanted to accomplish in the next year. In Easter of 2007, I said I wanted to go back to Kenya with our family in 08 without using a credit card. We didn't make it. Instead, Boo has had to have surgery on his teeth, and I am still trying to figure out how to pay for my root canal. Between the two of that is $6,000 in medical bills if I get mine-so much for Kenya.

The presidential primary season in Portland really heated up this year, and we all caught the Obama bug. We all had it already, we have since long before he announced but the Hillary/Obama stuff had us worked into a fervor. We were surprised to see Oregon playing such a key role in the election.

We took Bugaboo to the Obama rally in May that drew 75,000 people. It was pretty unbelievable and my pictures don't do it justice (refer back to previous battery issues), but it was really amazing to see people just keep coming. Baba Malcolm, Malcolm and I arrived downtown at around 10:15. The rally was supposed to start at 12:30, and people were already wrapped around the block. All over the place there were people selling all kinds of things with Obama's picture or name on it. It reminded me of the little kiosks in Nairobi where you could buy everything Nikes to 1 cent candies and cigarettes to fish for tonight's dinner.

What was really shocking to me was that it was not a predominately African-American crowd. It was very mixed ( well for Oregon anyway), and people stood patiently in 90+ degree weather waiting to see Obama. While he spoke,well-organized Campaign activist sprayed the crowd down and offered us cook drinking water. Malcolm sat on our shoulders and learned the expression "Yes, we can." He still says it whenever he sees a picture of Obama on TV or something. We put an Obama sign in our yard, and somehow he learned to read it on his own, wherever he sees the word Obama in whatever context he reads it. That's my baby boy. Yes, we can Malcolm.We can.

After the May Primary then June arrived and so did my mother and my birthday. This year, I actually wanted to do something and we had people over for a party in our garden.

I have gotten addicted to garden. We have chickens now, and hopefully soon we will have a beautiful coop as well so they can get out of our basement! Malcolm loves the plants, and eats anything green he finds growing.

He is really enjoying a few weeks off of school hanging out with our church community. You know before he was born I really thought my activist community would step up and be a family for my little one. It did not happen that way, instead I got an entirely new family, and I am totally grateful that God sent them to me every single day. I do not know what anyone does without a faith community, and feel that ours is striving very hard to become the Beloved Community that Dr. King dreamed of. Malcolm knows more peace and love and community in a rainbow of people than I ever have. I hope that we continue to keep the balance of his experiences on the safety and community side and not the pain and hurt that so many of us have felt under the stings of racism here.

Malcolm cooking vegetables

2008-04-05T23:13:00.000-07:00

This is Malcolm cooking vegetables-kale to be precise-at school. I told y'all he eats green stuff as long as he knows I can't see him! See how happy he is about it too?!
Now the chef is really concentrating!

All About Being a Superhero and a Fireman

2008-04-05T23:08:00.000-07:00

Malcolm and Sophie love each other. They are about the same size and body type and temperament so they spend lots of time together, hugging, and pretending. It is sooo adorable it makes me want to burst and this picture of the two is just too much, pretend time, best friends and music. Who could ask for anything more?

"Ok, I got rid of Ms. Sophie. Now it's time for some serious business!"

Malcolm and his Friends

2008-04-05T23:04:00.000-07:00

Drummer Boy!

2008-04-05T23:02:00.000-07:00

He can barely reach the drum, but he can sure play it!

Mountain Valley

2008-04-05T22:48:00.000-07:00

We are in love with Malcolm's pre-school Mountain Valley. Malcolm is happy there. He missed his friends over Spring Break and we kept them alive in our minds by naming all his rubber duckies after people in the school during bath time. He had a wonderful spring break though, he got to connect with people from our church community. They took him on lots of field trips including the zoo, the park, The Portland Barack Obama Headquarters, a restaurant where police officers were having breakfast, and the neighbor's yard for flower picking.

He got ride bikes, ooh the Obama people by shouting Obama's name when he saw his picture ( that's my boy!) make flower arrangements, play with trains, and visit the alligator in the zoo. The kid definitely loves community! I am really glad. He is so connected to so many friends and loves so many people.

Mountain Valley also really nurtures that sense of community and I always feel that he is in a safe and nurturing environment. Here is a picture of the school and I am posting other hilarious pictures from his times there as well.

Funny Things Malcolm Does These Days

2008-02-23T14:59:00.000-08:00

Today he put his dolly on his little potty, that he himself does not know how to use yet. He said, "Dolly, potty." and then put his dolly on his potty.

He knows how to chant O-bam-Mah in a pretty adorable way, yes I am politicizing my child but what do you expect social change runs in the family.

Malcolm Turns Two!

2008-01-31T15:46:00.000-08:00

I can't believe that this child is two! Where did my baby go? We did have a fantastic multicultural party though. Here are some pics that Sequoia's mom took. The little guy is sick today and just started crying again so I will post more later.

Stockings, Presents, and Other Merry Activities

2007-12-25T15:45:00.000-08:00

All He Wanted for Christmas was a Bicycle!

2007-12-25T15:39:00.000-08:00

Yes, this is all he wanted for Christmas, but he still can't quite reach the pedals. I think that we can adjust them, but getting this trike back to Portland will be tricky.

The Snows of Colorado

2007-12-25T15:30:00.000-08:00

In these pictures you can see Malcolm with his new little wheely backpack which will make a great diaper bag. His cousin Matthew is also featured in one photo.

Christmas 2007-Part 1-Colorado

2007-12-25T15:18:00.000-08:00

Well, I finally have a moment to write. December has certainly been a whirlwind! We moved on December 1st, then there was unpacking, and Christmas preparations, and still need to do more planning about the big guys birthday. We have also had a lot of challenges. Malcolm's Baba has been working nights and I am still working days so we only see each other on Sundays and sometimes Malcolm does not get to spend quality time with his Baba for the better part of a week, but we are making it through. We have had other challenges well, but I have tried to keep the focus on Christmas and love and peace.

We came out to Colorado for about five days while Baba Malcolm is working, then we are going to do a family Christmas in Portland when we get home. That is why the title of this posting is Christmas part 1, but I am now posting several pictures from Christmas so far. It has been pretty cool, complete with a small Christmas miracle, and snow on Christmas Day.

Malcolm made his grandma a very special cup at Mimosa Studios in Portland. We were supposed to pick it up on Friday so we could have it on the plane on Saturday, but their kiln shut down in mid job which had never happened before and they had to ship it. It was upposed to arrive on Christmas Eve, but it didn't and I was worried and preparing my speech to the company, but it arrived on Christmas Day as we were still unwrapping presents so it was great. We will start with the picture of grandma and her cup then, and then post others as we go along.

I hope that everyone out there is doing well, let's hope for the sake of the children that 2008 is a year that brings more peave, more understanding, and some real change and care for our planet.

Catching Up

2007-11-13T20:58:00.000-08:00

It has been a while since I have really written anything significant for this blog. Mostly, I have just been filling it with pictures and hoping that they would speak for themselves, but I think that some reflection is in order.

Life has been moving fast lately. I have been increasing my hours at work, and that has been hard on Malcolm. He does not really accept my being away on Fridays well, and that has made having less time off even harder on me, but I think that we are starting to adjust. I may send him to his nursery school on Fridays soon, and that may help. He is so nurtured and loved there and I think that he really needs time with other children now.

Malcolm is also learning all kinds of new things. My favorite thing is that he has started nursing his teddy bear from time to time. I have not been able to catch on camera yet, but one day I will and then I think that I will send it in to Mothering magazine for all the world to see because it is too darn adorable. However, I must mention that he is not fond of me trying to nursing his teddy bears that results in a lot of jealousy.

I have attached a little picture of him a few weeks ago. I was getting his bath water ready for him so he could take his bath in the little basin, and his Daddy called me to ask a question. When I turned around Malcolm had climbed on in clothes and all and was washing his sock! I thought it was pretty funny and that I would share it with you all. We have not had many adventures lately, still recovering from October, but we are moving so there is much commotion on the homefront.

Happy Halloweeen 2007

2007-11-04T18:34:00.003-08:00

Check Out My Baby's Fine Motor Skills!

2007-10-18T21:38:00.001-07:00

Look at that grip! My baby is going to be a writer like his mama!

It Just Wouldn't Be Pacific Northwesty Enough Without a Picture of a Spotted Owl

2007-10-18T21:36:00.000-07:00

.....So here it is!

Playing in a teepee

2007-10-18T21:21:00.001-07:00

Dancer at the Powow in Wy-Kan-Ush-Pum Village

2007-10-18T21:15:00.001-07:00

Here is a picture of a dancer at the small pow wow that they had at Wy-Kan-USh Pum Willage. I can now tell you that Wy-Kan-USh-Pum means the Salmon People. See, I get more muli-lingual by the day! :) Malcolm loved the drumming and took off into the middle of the circle dance which is like a community dance, but her did not want to dance with me. He wanted to dance with everyone else. I didn't get any pictures of that part because I was too busy dancing!

Malcolm and Baba playing in the sand next to the river

2007-10-18T21:12:00.001-07:00

Beautiful Boy on the beach

2007-10-18T21:04:00.001-07:00

Oxbow River

2007-10-18T21:00:00.001-07:00

This is the river in Oxbow Park. I had never been there before and I was impressed by its beauty. It was great to be out in the fresh and crisp autumn air, surrounded by color and beauty-oh yea and a lot of people who are positively loopy over salmon. :)

Our Centennial

2007-10-18T20:56:00.000-07:00

So Blogger tells me that my last post was teh 100th one! GO figure. I felt like I should say something about that so I am , only nothing particularly profound is coming to mind. Perhaps the only thing that this really signifies is that I am verbose and very hooked on mamahood. We ill see. Well, on to other things. The next series of photos is all about our trip to the Salmon Festival with Malcolm's new school.

I Love My Daddy...Well, I think so ;)

2007-10-11T21:55:00.000-07:00

Our Autumn Walks

2007-10-11T21:42:00.000-07:00

Here are some pictures from our recent walk. Malcolm and I have been enjoying spending some moments watching the autumn come and the seasons change. He also has developed a very tight relationship with a white cat that lives in the neighborhood. You will see the cat in this slideshow.

More Autumn Pics

2007-10-05T20:54:00.000-07:00

Here are more pics of our little bugaboo including his majesty in his stroller, a blue bird that we saw on our walk, one of his first paintings and a picture of him a at his new school.

New Autumn Pictures

2007-10-05T20:35:00.000-07:00

Things have been really busy for our little family lately. All sorts of transitions abound, but some things that I am excited about are the new little school that Malcolm will be going to, another pumpkin patch trip, Halloween, warm cider and much more!

Malcolm's New Friend From Across the Street

2007-09-02T15:29:00.000-07:00

Meet Boo's Across the street playmate Sequoia. We just met a couple of weeks ago and they have become fast friends. Here are some pictures of them playing when we went over to Sequoia and his Mommy and Daddy's house for dinner.