This Little Light of Mine

Night Night Mama

We just put Malcolm to bed. There was nothing that out of the ordinary until we got to the end. He said, " I want to sleep in my bed." I said, "Ok" and prepared to crawl in his toddler bed with him to give him Mama's Milk. He said, "No, no mama's milk. I will see you in the morning mom." What happened? That was our last sacred time for mama's milk, and no cuddles? Just some stories, blankets, and a kiss goodnight? I don't know what to think of all this. It seems a lot for one night. At least I wanted my cuddles.

Malcolm the Firefighter

Grandma sent Malcolm this outlandishly big fire truck from Colorado. It was quite an adventure into the Industrial Area to get the fire truck, but I have to admit that it is pretty adorable, and it is metal and paint rather than plastic so I took these really cute photos of him.

Looking for Herons-Finally some photos

If you look really, really closely at the photo of the lake, you can faintly see one heron which was far away. Malcolm loves blue herons and for months I had planned on taking him to Smith and Bybee Lake which I read about in the Metro Parent in the Spring. I have to say that I was a little disappointed in the lake, and annoyed that in part of the lake you could hear the race track nearby, but Malcolm had a lot of fun and enjoyed the sheds for bird viewing. He liked pretending that they were houses he was living in. We did see many herons, and so it did not disappoint on that count. I think that I prefer Leach Botanical Garden though.

This Week

First, everyone should know that the camera was located, I just did not use it to take pictures this week. I mostly used my cell phone, and therefore I don't have much to post just yet. This week we had a lot of fun taking care of our friends that we nanny. It is amazing to hear all of the words and concepts and ideas that Malcolm already knows that I had no idea he knew. Tonight in the bathtub, he told me he was going to go somewhere in his private boat. I did not know that he understood that the word private can be used to show that something belongs to someone. Now that I am writing this I think that this idea must have come from the book "Where the Wild Things Are" we have been reading that a lot lately, and Max rides in a private boat just for him.

He also has been practicing breast feeding and bottle feeding dollies. We have been around a lot of babies lately, and he is really enjoying the opportunity to be nurturing. He has also been acting out books again including checking out library books like Ron in his book Ron's Big Mission.

At Nico's house Malcolm taught Nico how to have counseling sessions which he knows many people have, and what can I say his uncle is a co-counselor and his grandma is a therapist. He got his friend a chair. They both sat down in the chairs. Malcolm said in a sweet welcoming voice "Hi, how are you?" then they giggled and giggled and giggled and then he said " It was good to see you. See you next week. Bye." Then they ran around the room, and Malcolm asked his friend again "Do you want to have a session?" Then they did it all again. It was very cute. I was in the kitchen washing dishes, but periodically I would look over at them and he would say "No mama, we're not done with our session."

You know you are an Oregonian when...

Ok, first off I can not find my camera at the moment. It has been ss a week of losing things which happens when I am too stressed, and family life has been very stressful lately. I did take a very cute picture with my cell phone, but don't know how to get the pic from my phone to my computer so you all will have to wait a little bit for this photo. I usually try to be the really together mama on this blog, but this time I can't embellish it. I am a bit unorganized, but not totally. I am really get some areas of my life together.

Ok, back to being an Oregonian... You know you are an Oregonian when you want to make playdough with your son, and realize you are out of food coloring so you go to the park to pick Oregon grapes to dye your playdough. It was great. Huge mounds of beautiful purple dough. Luscious dough, wonderfully enough all the kids in the neighborhood want some. Even some of the kids that I pegged in earlier post as more hardened inner-city kids can't resist homemade projects, a little bit of attention, and Malcolm's smile. We tripled the recipe so we could give some to friends. Maybe next time we will multiple by six andalso take some to the Spanish Speaking kids up the street who we have been wanting to play with. Anyone know Spanish for Playdough?

Malcolm's Train Rides Part 4

MAlcolm's Train Rides Part 3

Malcolm's Train Ride Part 2

Malcolm's Summer Time Train Rides PT 1

Here are videos of him riding in the dome car through the Royal Gorge with Grandma and his cousins Matthew and Makaela. We also went on the train to the top of Pikes Peak where we had fresh donuts that reminded me of the mandazi we had in Kenya and hot chocolate. Life was good. Now we are all trying to get back to life in Portland, and Grandma is staying with us which is great. I am really missing Victor though and thinking a lot about the Family Reunion.

Malcolm in Chicago

The windy city












Riding Thomas at Navy Pier
















Playing in the water at Crown Fountain in Millennium Park





















Reading in the Chicago Public Library
















Taking the El

Malcolm and the Girl Across the Street

Malcolm loves S, the girl across the street. He loves her soo much that he even made up an imaginary friend just like her, except the imaginary friend is always home and he is allowed to walk over to his house by himself in that world. I think that it is very cute. I hope that they are able to stay friends for a while because he is already missing Sequoia.

Surviving the Great Recession

I have not had much time to blog lately, and honestly I have gotten a little distracted by the discovery of Facebook although I have not had much to say on there lately either.

I often read these beautiful blogs written by mamas who make all sorts of wonderful creations while caring for families of two or three kids and a more elaborate garden etc, and everything seems so blissful. Then I wonder, are they for real?

Ok, I adore my son and really do love my hubby, but it seems that it is taking all of me to just figure out how to survive in this economy and taking on all the side gigs here and there to stay afloat in this economy. Although the big news is that I am going back to school. I know that this will be hard on Malcolm when the time comes, but in the end I think that it will help us with our goal to be able to live in another country for a few years. We are very established in Portland, we have so much community here which is really hard to leave, but also every day that goes by and I realize that if something does not change I may have to send my son to public school and I explore these options I grow more panicked. I do not see a way to survive economically and homeschool my child, but what is going to happen to my beautiful little Black boy?

I know it is 2009, a Black man is president, but I have seen the deadness and despair in the eyes of many of the neighborhood children. I am haunted by my public school education in which I learned very well that anyone who looked at all like me and tried to make a difference was shot, and I learned that there is only one model of learning and if did not fall into you must be stupid.

I worry about him entering Kindergarten too late and being turned off early because he can not explore and be challenged, but not passing the test to enter into school early because while he can tell you about several models of trains and can not count in five languages he is not counting high enough in English or has not delved deeply enough in the areas they test and is not tested on the areas he has explored. Do they test on how many kinds of birds commonly found in the Pacific Northwest you can name? Do they test Kindergarteners for how much they know about the life cycle of a chicken, frog, or human child? How about how many countries and states you locate on the world map? How many dinosaurs you can name? How many songs you can sing, or rhythms you can play on the drums or guitars? How about how well you can dig with a garden hoe, plant beans, water your own garden or follow the growth of fruit? These are all things that Malcolm is intimately familiar as well as various models of trains, how to swing on a rope, build with blocks, make art and all the other things that a pre-schooler should know. He also knows that S is for Sequoia, Sela, and snake, and M is for Malcolm, Mama, and Maya and several other letters and associated words. He does not make the September cut-off though so what do I do if our little community school collapses and I can not find a new places that understands and yet have to work to survive and then find an elementary school, because I think that he will need to complete at least one year of school in this country before we can leave. Anyone have suggestions? Here are some pictures of him that one of the teachers at Mountain Valley took. He is wearing his Barack Obama "Yes, we did!" shirt.

Adorable Beach Pictures

It has finally started to get hot in Portland, and since things have been so hectic lately, I am trying to embrace every opportunity to get Malcolm and I to beautiful settings. We both love blue herons and ended up at the beach in their pursuit. This time though, we just got to commune with the seagulls. That's ok, I am coming to appreciate seagulls out here. Some of these pictures are a little blurry because of the blowing sand. It was pretty windy on the beach last Wednesday.

A Moment to Pause

We have been so busy lately that there has been no time to write which is very unfortunate, because there have been so many things that I have wanted to write about. Malcolm has been keeping his busy social schedule. I think that he has much more community and friends than the average three year old around here. Keeping up with all that keeps me very busy, but honestly as I talk to more parents it seems that they do not spend nearly as much helping their children deepen their relationships with their peers. It seems that is rarely prioritized, and I wonder why. In many ways it is much easier for me when Malcolm has other children around. He is entertained and the adults in the house do not have to perform, we are able to get much more done, and he is much less crabby than usual in the evenings because he is so happy to play and less focused on being tired and hungry and wanting immediate gratification. Often, it is also means that the adults in the house get to connect with other adults as well, so other than a little extra clean-up and perhaps a slightly later bedtime, I don't really see the downside. He is so enriched by having those relationships and challenged to learn and grow in many other ways that I feel that it is really important.

I think that perhaps other people just feel that they want more time to just be with their families, and I often feel that way, but I often think that adding more children and parents at least weekly just intensifies the quality of that time. I don't know, perhaps I am not really explaining it well, or perhaps I feel this way because of my cultural perspective and the cultural perspectives of other adults in the house. All the other adults in the house grew up in places where extended family was the norm, and although it was mostly my mom and I growing up she did have a very large social network of family friends that help raise me and that is where I learned my community-building skills.

I am often struck though by how different the world is that Malcolm is growing up in. I often hear people say that Portland is not diverse, but they must live in a different Portland than we do. On our block all the families with children have bilingual parents, and all of them are bilingual in different languages Tongan, Swahili, Spanish, and probably more that I have not discovered further down the street. They all ride their bikes, watch out for the neighborhood raccoon, tell stories about what our chickens do when they get out, and new friends are starting to play in our garden or hang out with us in the park.

Malcolm does not see language as a barrier to play. He sees every child around his age as a friend he hasn't met yet. He already knows that he can be president, and he loves his large group of important adults.

We have been spending lots of time in the garden since the sun returned to the Rose City. Last year, I never took pictures of the garden this year I want to make sure that I keep tabs on its evolution. So here are some pictures that I took in the last few days, but there have already been some major changes that will need to be posted later.

Making Bread

I have been really inspired in the breadmaking department lately. It helps me feel that I am connected to women and ancestors all over the world, and that no matter what the economy does that I can feed my family. I wish that we had enough land that I could take all this urban farming to the next level, but I am able to grow some of the herbs for the bread and harvest the eggs from our yard, that is a great start, but what I wouldn't give for a little land, some fresh honey and a garden overflowing with food and flowers to frolic and learn in. In the meantime, I am still experimenting with the bread. Here are the pictures of my last batch of abundant loaves for the family.

New Life, New Struggles, New Growth

It is definitely still Springtime, and I am thrilled that some little bit of sunshine has finally returned to Portland. If you don't live in the Pacific Northwest or perhaps a tropical rainforest then you may not know what it is like to feel like your feet are starting to mold, and that perhaps that myth about Oregonians growing duck feet is not that far off. I am not really designed for that, and my husband, being a native of Kenya in East Africa is definitely not designed for all that rain. To top that off the little that we managed to preserve from our first year garden last year has all been depleted. I am so tired of grocery store food, I am aching for sun and food directly from our backyard. The recession has also hit our house, neighborhood church, just life in general. We have a friend, another Kenyan immigrant staying with us because he has not been able to find a job for months, our neighbors next door have an in-law staying with them for the same reason and another part of community village has lost her job as well. So I have been thinking more and more about the adage that "real revolutionaries grow their own food."

It seems like despite our best efforts at nonviolent communication, or general togetherness this house has been full of very loud processing while all of the struggles that we face come up. Honestly, it is all here we are very diverse household. Two of us are immigrants, one of us is a child, one of us is queer, most of us are Black, and let just say that income is enough at the moment, but you never know, it can still be tenuous. So Easter fell in the midst of all this, and brought with it the message of new life and I started processing that. Then I had an issue with my tooth that brought unbearable pain, but one of my coworkers at school put me on to squirting Echinacea directly on the area. The earth is miraculous! This was amazing, and then this same week we got our baby chicks.

Here are some pictures of our garden starting to come alive, and the new baby chicks. I still have at least three posts worth of topics to cover today, but I will try to break them into sections so that you can all read the parts that are most interesting to you.

My favorite moments

These days my favorite moments are when Geoffrey and Malcolm are sleeping and I am lying on the bed listening to them. It so sweet and so peaceful.

The other thing that I love is gazing at our garden, the chicken, our vegetable starts growing and the circle of tulips around the plum tree which is now in bloom. I can gaze out the window endlessly at it on rainy days and just sit and play the rest of the days. I am also noticing that the native Currant and Salmonberry bushes that I planted are thriving.