Monday, May 25, 2009

A Moment to Pause





We have been so busy lately that there has been no time to write which is very unfortunate, because there have been so many things that I have wanted to write about. Malcolm has been keeping his busy social schedule. I think that he has much more community and friends than the average three year old around here. Keeping up with all that keeps me very busy, but honestly as I talk to more parents it seems that they do not spend nearly as much helping their children deepen their relationships with their peers. It seems that is rarely prioritized, and I wonder why. In many ways it is much easier for me when Malcolm has other children around. He is entertained and the adults in the house do not have to perform, we are able to get much more done, and he is much less crabby than usual in the evenings because he is so happy to play and less focused on being tired and hungry and wanting immediate gratification. Often, it is also means that the adults in the house get to connect with other adults as well, so other than a little extra clean-up and perhaps a slightly later bedtime, I don't really see the downside. He is so enriched by having those relationships and challenged to learn and grow in many other ways that I feel that it is really important.

I think that perhaps other people just feel that they want more time to just be with their families, and I often feel that way, but I often think that adding more children and parents at least weekly just intensifies the quality of that time. I don't know, perhaps I am not really explaining it well, or perhaps I feel this way because of my cultural perspective and the cultural perspectives of other adults in the house. All the other adults in the house grew up in places where extended family was the norm, and although it was mostly my mom and I growing up she did have a very large social network of family friends that help raise me and that is where I learned my community-building skills.

I am often struck though by how different the world is that Malcolm is growing up in. I often hear people say that Portland is not diverse, but they must live in a different Portland than we do. On our block all the families with children have bilingual parents, and all of them are bilingual in different languages Tongan, Swahili, Spanish, and probably more that I have not discovered further down the street. They all ride their bikes, watch out for the neighborhood raccoon, tell stories about what our chickens do when they get out, and new friends are starting to play in our garden or hang out with us in the park.

Malcolm does not see language as a barrier to play. He sees every child around his age as a friend he hasn't met yet. He already knows that he can be president, and he loves his large group of important adults.

We have been spending lots of time in the garden since the sun returned to the Rose City. Last year, I never took pictures of the garden this year I want to make sure that I keep tabs on its evolution. So here are some pictures that I took in the last few days, but there have already been some major changes that will need to be posted later.