The New Normal: Back to Work, Back to School

I saw that some of my friends were checking the blog, wanting to know how work is going, whether we are sleeping, and about all of our various transitions.

Well, they are transitions, and transitions for this mama are never too easy, but so far so good. The truth is that when it comes to babies I am truly blessed! Both of my babies have been pretty easy, wonderful little beings, and especially with co-sleeping pretty good sleepers. My honey-colored girl is a little bit harder than her brother in some ways, but seems like she will be a very mellow soul overall.

I have been taking Salome to work with me which I have been approved to do until she starts crawling. This has been wonderful! I was worried about it, and of course there have been some hiccups here and there, but overall it has been great. Meetings can be a little tricky, but if I am in my office or a home visit it is pretty easy to meet everyone's needs and get work done.

Women throughout the office often come to take a peek at her when they know she is around. The African women who are my co-workers in our department have really become her aunties. They were there at the Blessingway, and supported me throughout my pregnancy and now they will hold Salome in our meetings together and speak to her in Amharic or French. Salome glows at this, and seems to really respond to the Amharic.

I have been going on homevisits to meet new clients for a mothering group that I am starting for African women. It does not take much to be welcomed into these homes. I greet the women with a "As'salaam walaikem" and they respond and then ask about my baby. When they hear how young she is I often get a response that is something like "Oh, and you are already working. We must all struggle in this country. Sit down my sister." I tell them about our program and my ideas, and then ask them their stories. I learn about their struggles in their countries of origin and here. We hold each other's baby, and I offer them my support as needed. It is actually a lot of fun, and I think that my relationship with Salome has also grown through this. I am also happy at the early exposure she gets to African cultures. Malcolm got to hear the real singing and dancing of the women of Kisayani in my womb, and grow in the darkness as I responded to the traffic and crowded city life of Nairobi. Salome is growing now among whispered Amharic reassurances, Somali songs and smells, and with a whole hosts of aunties who welcome her into a global circle of women who struggle, and heal, and work and nurture, and cry, and feel oppressed, and sing, and love and laugh.

School has not started for me yet, but I have an orientation in Corvallis this week so Salome's wonderful Aunty Kerri is going down with me to help with the Empress. Malcolm's school is off to a great start. Mountain Valley prepared him well. He has had so many years of cultivating community and problem solving that he is doing quite well. He interacts quite confidently with the sixth graders he sees in the hallway, participates in circle time, and is surrounded in diversity. The comments about wanting to be white are starting to fade, and he is beginning to respond differently to discipline and re-direction around his hitting and acting out. This is good for everyone. I am happy about it and still seeking more outlets for more physical play, because unfortunate nothing could be as physical as MV with its wonderful rope, and climbing wall, and jumping mattress, but he rests at naptime and comes home happy. I am already making friends with the parents which seems easier because our family seems average at the school instead of the oddballs, and most people are in the neighborhood. Things are definitely different than they were, but I am looking forward to the adventure of the next three years. Now, wish me luck passing Biostastics!

We are off to life in the "New Normal."

Malcolm's First Day at Pre-K-A New Beginning

Yesterday was Malcolm's first day of Pre-K at Holy Redeemer. Wow! How different from Mountain Valley! I realized how odd it was to not be met by Susan or Isaiah and see him run off to play on a mattress, and I did think about the fact that I did not see a play kitchen or really any dress up in the new classroom they moved to, but there were so many other good things too.

I had planned to stay until 11:00 because the newsletter said that we could do that the first day, but by 9:30 Malcolm had a story time, done calendar with the other kids, discovered the art supplies, had a tour of the classroom, and was ready to go outside to recess and snack time. He was ready for me to go. I did question myself a little "Oh my gosh, this is a long way from our little progressive school" but was reassured by the diversity, the sense of a neighborhood school, the diverse teachers, the other parents who seem so cool, and the thriving and huge school garden that Holy Redeemer put in this year.

It was a lot to handle just getting out the door as I also had to prepare things so that someone could watch Salome and I could be with Malcolm. I came home early to find baby girl crying with Jessica , a friend from church who helps take care of her when I need it, but we both figured out that her milk was just not the right temperature. Part of me felt guilty that I wasn't panic stricken at being away from Salome while I helped Malcolm adjust, but I knew she was safe and being well-cared for and that this was a big step for Malcolm.

It was great getting home at 5:30 even after not rushing the pick up because Malcolm was so close to home, and since he slept (yes he actually napped!) he was in a better mood than previous pickups, and that gave us time to play and put off dinner a bit. A great start-umm I think.

Surviving the Great Recession

I have not had much time to blog lately, and honestly I have gotten a little distracted by the discovery of Facebook although I have not had much to say on there lately either.

I often read these beautiful blogs written by mamas who make all sorts of wonderful creations while caring for families of two or three kids and a more elaborate garden etc, and everything seems so blissful. Then I wonder, are they for real?

Ok, I adore my son and really do love my hubby, but it seems that it is taking all of me to just figure out how to survive in this economy and taking on all the side gigs here and there to stay afloat in this economy. Although the big news is that I am going back to school. I know that this will be hard on Malcolm when the time comes, but in the end I think that it will help us with our goal to be able to live in another country for a few years. We are very established in Portland, we have so much community here which is really hard to leave, but also every day that goes by and I realize that if something does not change I may have to send my son to public school and I explore these options I grow more panicked. I do not see a way to survive economically and homeschool my child, but what is going to happen to my beautiful little Black boy?

I know it is 2009, a Black man is president, but I have seen the deadness and despair in the eyes of many of the neighborhood children. I am haunted by my public school education in which I learned very well that anyone who looked at all like me and tried to make a difference was shot, and I learned that there is only one model of learning and if did not fall into you must be stupid.

I worry about him entering Kindergarten too late and being turned off early because he can not explore and be challenged, but not passing the test to enter into school early because while he can tell you about several models of trains and can not count in five languages he is not counting high enough in English or has not delved deeply enough in the areas they test and is not tested on the areas he has explored. Do they test on how many kinds of birds commonly found in the Pacific Northwest you can name? Do they test Kindergarteners for how much they know about the life cycle of a chicken, frog, or human child? How about how many countries and states you locate on the world map? How many dinosaurs you can name? How many songs you can sing, or rhythms you can play on the drums or guitars? How about how well you can dig with a garden hoe, plant beans, water your own garden or follow the growth of fruit? These are all things that Malcolm is intimately familiar as well as various models of trains, how to swing on a rope, build with blocks, make art and all the other things that a pre-schooler should know. He also knows that S is for Sequoia, Sela, and snake, and M is for Malcolm, Mama, and Maya and several other letters and associated words. He does not make the September cut-off though so what do I do if our little community school collapses and I can not find a new places that understands and yet have to work to survive and then find an elementary school, because I think that he will need to complete at least one year of school in this country before we can leave. Anyone have suggestions? Here are some pictures of him that one of the teachers at Mountain Valley took. He is wearing his Barack Obama "Yes, we did!" shirt.

Malcolm cooking vegetables

This is Malcolm cooking vegetables-kale to be precise-at school. I told y'all he eats green stuff as long as he knows I can't see him! See how happy he is about it too?!
Now the chef is really concentrating!

Malcolm and his Friends

Mountain Valley

We are in love with Malcolm's pre-school Mountain Valley. Malcolm is happy there. He missed his friends over Spring Break and we kept them alive in our minds by naming all his rubber duckies after people in the school during bath time. He had a wonderful spring break though, he got to connect with people from our church community. They took him on lots of field trips including the zoo, the park, The Portland Barack Obama Headquarters, a restaurant where police officers were having breakfast, and the neighbor's yard for flower picking.

He got ride bikes, ooh the Obama people by shouting Obama's name when he saw his picture ( that's my boy!) make flower arrangements, play with trains, and visit the alligator in the zoo. The kid definitely loves community! I am really glad. He is so connected to so many friends and loves so many people.

Mountain Valley also really nurtures that sense of community and I always feel that he is in a safe and nurturing environment. Here is a picture of the school and I am posting other hilarious pictures from his times there as well.