This is year I have fallen completely overboard into Christmas lala land. We don't have a tree, and our budget is very tight, but I have had fun picking out stocking stuffers and small little things that I can do for my loved ones.

I was telling one of my co-workers that when the war in Afghanistan started three years ago I marched into a popular shopping mall downtown with a small group of protestors shouting "Stop your shopping, bombs are dropping!" I did not get anyone store bought gifts that year, and stayed in Portland instead of going home to see my family.

This is year is a whole other ball of wax. I have savored every moment with my husband who has been working a zillion hours for us. I put the all-Christmas all the time station on the radio and sing Christmas carols to Malcolm. Someone in the church painted a portrait of Malcolm and I as the madonna and child. I hung up the stockings, got a wreath through a local micro-enterprise project for migrant women, and have generally blissed out on Christmas.

Malcolm loves the call and respond Christmas carols. He giggles like crazy every time I say "like a lightbulb" during the Rudolph the Rednose Reindeer song. He also generally put up with having his picture taken on Santa's lap.

When I asked Geoffrey if we should send a picture of Malcolm and "Baba Christmas" to our family in Kenya, he responded "Sure, but they will just think he is sitting on some white guy." It was very funny.

The question is now- how do I give my little one a wonderful Christmas every year while emphasizing tolerance and the roots of the holiday which are really about hope and peace and love and not techie toys that we can't afford anyway?

Well you all can test me next year when Malcolm is old enough to get some things about Christmas-will it be a spirtual time of giving and togetherness or will this activist mama fall into the globalization trap?

Stay tuned....

And now back to decking the halls

The Many Moods of Malcolm

In Search of the Great Pumpkin

Cool Slideshows

Lactivism

This week a breastfeeding mama was kicked off an airplane for breastfeeding her child without covering herself with a blanket. This is an outlandish act! Fortunately a petition has been circulating nationwide which has gathered more than 20,000 signatures and Delta has already vowed to train their employees on the benefits of breastfeeding. There is currently a Breastfeeding Promotion Act before Congress. Please sign this petition to show your support.

I am sorry to be so unabashedly political on the Blog, but how else will be able to make things better for our children?

http://www.democracyinaction.org/dia/organizationsORG/momsrising/signUp.jsp?key=1772&t=petition.dwt

Malcolm is doing great on numerous front, although I feel sort beaten up by the last month. It seemed like I worked non-stop and hardly saw my precious boy wonder during the weeks leading up to the election. Then of course I collapsed in exhaustion and got sick. The good news is that we won everything. Having been raised by a socialist feminist type (love ya mom!) I am not accustomed to winning on Election Day so seeing my candidates win and the school levy pass with 59% was like witnessing a miracle. Now I can see my Bugaboo again.

Malcolm is getting pretty good at standing which means that walking is not far off. I am not quite ready for that! He loves his drum and can really beat out a rhythm for a nine month ( I absolutely can't believe he is that old-one is right around the corner!). He eats almost everything now, but is still nursing. This guy is really a breast man. He will nurse until he is at least two I imagine.

I am putting together a little slide show of our pumpkin patch trip so I will post that on here soon!

This fall has been hectic, but we have still managed to have fun even in the midst of the chaos. Grandma came to town and we all went on a trip to the pumpkin patch. It is really astonishing to me how incredibly playful Malcolm is these days. He had a blast crawling on the pumpkins, riding on our shoulders through the corn maze and sleeping in the wagon while we had a picnic lunch. You could not ask for a more perfect day!

He had a cold on Hallooween so we did not really get to take him out, but we did have fun dressing him up as a puppy and watching him crawl around.

He has five teeth now and two more are coming in on the top. He looks like a one year old and he is doing many of the things they are . It is hard to convince people that he is only nine months old.

It is still hard to believe just how much I am in love with him. Since becoming a mama my priorities have completely changed. I am just so much less focused on my career and so much more focused on my family and personal life. It is like I just discovered the rest of the world and I want to relish every second. It sounds like the king is waking up. I will write more soon!

First Words

It's Official! His first word is "Baba" which means Daddy in Kiswahili, but he also says "Umama" for mama especially when he wants milk. Malcolm is really getting active. He follows us to other rooms, and he is eating mostly grown up food now. He doesn't like babyfood much now except applesauce, but he loves rice, soup, and fruit.

He is also our little musician. We have an African instrument called a "zeze" that I brought back from Kenya years ago thjat he loves, and of course he loves our drums. Everyone in church was laughing today because I stood him up on my legs so he could see the choir and then he started jumping up and down and waving his arms around to the music he was so excited.

Here are some pictures of him at the zoo in September.

Still Growing

Malcolm is doing so many things that I am in just in awe. It is like an explosion of growth. He is so curious and explorative. He is crawling up a storm, but he really likes to stand up. Today at his baby playgroup he stood up, leaned on a crate and actually walked pushing it for three steps before falling down. I wanted to jump up and down and declare it a miracle, but no one really seemed to notice. Everyone thought it was very ordinary. It is funny to me how people think that all these things are normal and I am astonished as if seeing a magical act. The reality is that it is both ordinary and completely miraculous. How great it is in the midst of all life's stress that we can stop to notice these miracles.

The other thing is Malcolm is so interested in life that he seems to have forgotten all about the bliss of sleeping. He only took one nap the whole day, but then in the evening we want to visit some of our Kenyan friends. With all that Kiswahili swirling around and so many children playing Malcolm just could not stop.

When we came back he seemed to think that a whistle I found was the funniest thing in the world. He started making a funny sound that was like "att, att, att" and laughing. This is all very exciting, he just grows and grows and grows.

More pictures from the wedding in North Carolina

Here are more pictures of Malcolm with me in North Carolina. I was very budy playing the matron of honor role so Malcolm had many opportunities to make new friends. Thankfully, I have been with a really social child. That is helpful since he gets carted to so many meetings. Harry, who is in one of the pictures was one of the best men (there were two) and he really fell in love with Malcolm. He wanted to hold him all the time!

Strangely, I have no pictures of Lola (the bride) holding Malcolm. I am sure that on the day I was too afraid of the potential of drool or poop ending up on the wedding dress, but we could have captured the picture at other times.

I have been very busy lately and have not had a lot of time to write inspirationally. Anyone have any inspiration to share?

Life is Full

I have barely written this month. Life has been a whirlwind, and I don't really know where it has gone. My husband came back from Kenya, he had been gone for several months which was enough for me to appreciate the power of single mamas, and we began the work of settling into a new autumn for our little family.

Malcolm is growing like a weed, and pooping like a being with superhuman powers or maybe like a super-artist painting the house with poop and other bodily fluids. I have not weighed him since his six month check up but I think that my eight month old is speeding toward 30 lbs.

It has been 17 months since he started growing inside me, just one year and five months since this journey began with just a few cells. I never knew how much motherhood would change me. I knew that it would change me, but it has transformed my life in many ways that I never expected. I think that the biggest is that I have learned that I can't control everything. I am learning to be much more at peace with the imperfection of the world. It is much more fun to play than to try to control things anyway.

I have also been thinking about how to keep Malcom in touch with his lineage-he is half Kenyan after all. My husabd wants to document everything about who he is and where he comes from so he will be armed with his knowledge of self. I hope that this is enough. I still get shocked and defensive when adults have any reaction towards my son other than to love him. I seethe when I see them acknowledge white children and not him, but he does not need to see me explode I think. I think he just needs to see me keep our lights shining despite our challenges.

He is really working on walking right now and putting everything in his mouth. He is a quite a bit of work at the moment, but I feel like I am always falling in love with him. I just wish we could quitely cuddle more and take a breath all the action from time to time.

Malcolm and I in North Carolina

Here is a picture of Malcolm and I at my friend Lola's wedding in North Carolina. It was very green and beautiful there. I was the maid of honor, but next to the bride and groom Malcolm stole the show! More pictures and stories soon to come.

The Bread Thief Who Crawls in the Night

I have not had a lot of time to write recently. I have gotten a lot busier at work, and family life has become more demanding. I have been trying to get the camera fixed, but it now seems permanently broken. This is sad especially because Geoffrey is now back and I want to get pictures of him with the baby.

Malcolm is growing up a storm though. It is astonishing to watch him pull himself to standing. He is so interested in food also. We have given him a nickname in Swahili that means "Bread thief" because one night we were all eating a late night snack in our breadroom and Malcolm crawled over and snack a small piece of bread from my plate while I was looking elsewhere. Geoffrey thought I had given it to him, and when I told him I didn't he started call Malcolm "Bread thief."

He is still a little picky about food though-don't try to give this boy green beans!

The Perfect Manifestation of Motherhood

Well everyone, I have officially discovered the mama-o-sphere, that is the mama-oriented blogosphere and I am hooked. As much as I used to write these blogs in my most blissed out moments of motherhood (of which there are many actually) I find the more realistic, honest and sarcastic mama blogs a little comforting. This is because I somehow can not manage to fulfill my destiny as the perfect mama.

A week or so ago one of my friends said he was going to seek out a Superwoman outfit for me. Now I see what he had in mind. So let me share with you all what I am striving to be for my little Malcolm, and my husband, and the world.

• I want to be the mama that can somehow afford and manage to provide her little one with all the attention and love he needs with complete patience and understanding.
• I would like to keep us both on a 100% organic diet and not succumb to the temptation of the television when he is around and I am tired.
• I would love to clothe him in noncorporate, organic clothes with no obnoxious corporate logos.
• I would like to be more organized and more focused at work with no breast pump issues.
• I would like to be extremely effective with the campaign I am working on at work.
• I would like to be able to do all of the things on this list while keeping a clean house.
• I would like to be a better friend and more involved in my church
• I would like to be a great wife to my husband
• I would like to protect us all from being wounded by racism
• I would like to be able to accomplish all these things while looking stylish and tropical.
• Oh yea, did I mention fixing the schools in Portland before Malcolm is old enough for Kindergarten?

My mind knows that this unreasonable, but I keep trying because I just feel that is what my men deserve. I also see really put together mamas who look beautiful. Can anyone tell me their secret please?

By the way everyone, I have Uncle N working on the camera. Hopefully it will still recover from its trip to the ocean. Keep up all the commentary I love it.

malcolm at my birthday party

ok, so you all know that my birthday is in June, but Douglas just sent me this picture of malcolm at my party earlier this summer. Malcolm is awfully cute! Since, I have not had any luck fxing the camera yet, I thought I'd post it. Don't get confused, he's not getting any younger... but can I can that joy?

I remember feeling joy that pure and having it so easily at hand. What I wouldn't give to be as joyous and expressive as a baby!

Malcolm at 7 Months

Malcolm had a huge day today. He is finally collapsed on the floor in the living room sound asleep. First we went to church where it was Jazz Sunday so the whole worship service was musical. He fell asleep at one point during the service and then the singer hit a high note and Malcolm woke up and wondered what had happened.

After that we rushed to Uncle Curtis' birthday party in Piccolo Park where Malcolm got to play with other children and adults and of course have some time to watch leaves. There was just so much climbing, crawling, watching, laughing and eating to be done that he couldn't sleep. I took him for a walk and he finally fell asleep, but when others were cleaning up he woke up again- about 30 minutes of sleep only.

After that we went home briefly so I could pick up my bathing suit and go to a swim party that was organized by a group that Curtis belongs to. My little guy slept in the house and the car a little bit and then we were in a pool.

I have to say Malcolm really warmed up to swimming. He is a regular duckling. He astonished me with how ell he could kick and splash since this is only his second time in a pool. He even let me put him on a little floaty raft and drag him around. He tried to crawl on it-as if crawling on land wasn't hard enough my boy has to crawl, stand and walk on water-watch out world here comes Malcolm!

My mission this week is to see that the camera recovers from the beach trip. Malcolm's Daddy is coming back from Kenya next Saturday and it will be fun to be a complete family again.

The day that Malcolm crawled

Hello Everyone,
I have so much that I want to write right now, but it has been a long day. Still, it is worth noting that today-August 19th is the day that Malcolm crawled for the first time. It is also the day that he first discovered the piano and saw fish move in a tank.

To Musemoon...

Will that amazing mama who left that totally awesome comment on my blog please contact me? I tried to find your blog, but I haven't succeeded so far. Also, if you are in Portland can we do a playdate? I am totally thrilled that people I have never met are reading my blog and that we can all share thoughts about these great things. My political mothering stuff has had some pretty powerful results and I think it is wonderful. Malcolm is himself a little healer, and the amazing thing is that he doesn't need to do anything out of the ordinary to do his healing. Maybe we were all like that.

Well dear ones, I am far too tired to write anything understandable tonight, but I would love to find musemoon. Tomorrow perhaps you can hear about last week's mishaps including dropping the baby.

Here are some pictures of people who have been lovingly caring for Malcolm all summer. This is an incomplete representation because I do not have photographs of everyone, but it provides a sampling of all the people.

I should also note that there may be a temporary break in pictures. The camera did not like the beach as much as Malcolm did and I am having a hard time getting it to function properly again after its contact with wind and sand. Perhaps this is a job for Uncle Nathaniel?

To My Village

Several friends of mine have commented on my incredible child care arrangements-free child care with people that love and adore Malcolm and bring him into their families. Their comments are that this seems nothing short of miraculous especially in the midst of our capitalist, anti-family society.

My friend Anna Jean told me that I should write instructions on how to do this or just post it on the blog. So that is what this is all about. One thing that I have really noticed about having a child is that in many ways it is like being in love, but when you fall in love with a mate (or at least when I fall in love with a mate) it causes you to close out some other people for some time. The falling inlove part is really between the two of you. Falling in love with a child does just the opposite it causes me to bring people in. I noticed that everywhere I go people really want an excuse to come out of their shells and play for a while. Neighbors who usually go about their business without greeting others stop to smile at Malcolm, make all kinds of rediculous noises to make him laugh, and to tell me all about their children or grandchildren. It is really clear how much we all desperately want to connect with each other and young children seem to give us an excuse to do that. Malcolm is an especially good excuse because he is not a shy baby and he can almost always muster up a two-toothed grin for everyone.

So here is my recipe for making a village to raise your child.

1. Spend your life caring very, very deeply about children. Work hard to spend as much time with other people's children as you can. Volunteer at daycare centers, tutor kids. Be unafraid to be a child among children. Also be unafraid to be a community parent among kids.
2. Work in organizations advocating for children, and get to know other people that care about kids.
3. Do your best to be a good friend. Do all you can to serve your world and don't expect an equal trade from your efforts.
4. When you are pregnant or going through an adoption process figure out how to get support for yourself. Do not go insane every time you are around men as I did.
5. During your babymoon, give people a chance to come for short visits and get to know your baby and your new family dynamics.
6. Add in a good faith community.
7. When you are ready to start setting up your child care arrangements ask the people who are now most connected to your family, your values and your child and who have schedules that are complimentary to yours. Be direct. Most people will be honored for the opportunity.
8. Create shifts around all your needs.
9. Watch your child thrive in a community full of love and adoration and a variety of stimulating experiences.
10. Tell them all how precious they are.

One last tip, it is also helpful to do trades. I like to trade things that are things that I enjoy and that my friends may enjoy, but that we don't get to do very much. Massages for child care or Swahili lessons etc. The truth is that this method makes the whole world richer.

Camping-the sand, the wind, the sea, and the milk

Building Blocks of Development