Still Growing

Malcolm is doing so many things that I am in just in awe. It is like an explosion of growth. He is so curious and explorative. He is crawling up a storm, but he really likes to stand up. Today at his baby playgroup he stood up, leaned on a crate and actually walked pushing it for three steps before falling down. I wanted to jump up and down and declare it a miracle, but no one really seemed to notice. Everyone thought it was very ordinary. It is funny to me how people think that all these things are normal and I am astonished as if seeing a magical act. The reality is that it is both ordinary and completely miraculous. How great it is in the midst of all life's stress that we can stop to notice these miracles.

The other thing is Malcolm is so interested in life that he seems to have forgotten all about the bliss of sleeping. He only took one nap the whole day, but then in the evening we want to visit some of our Kenyan friends. With all that Kiswahili swirling around and so many children playing Malcolm just could not stop.

When we came back he seemed to think that a whistle I found was the funniest thing in the world. He started making a funny sound that was like "att, att, att" and laughing. This is all very exciting, he just grows and grows and grows.

More pictures from the wedding in North Carolina

Here are more pictures of Malcolm with me in North Carolina. I was very budy playing the matron of honor role so Malcolm had many opportunities to make new friends. Thankfully, I have been with a really social child. That is helpful since he gets carted to so many meetings. Harry, who is in one of the pictures was one of the best men (there were two) and he really fell in love with Malcolm. He wanted to hold him all the time!

Strangely, I have no pictures of Lola (the bride) holding Malcolm. I am sure that on the day I was too afraid of the potential of drool or poop ending up on the wedding dress, but we could have captured the picture at other times.

I have been very busy lately and have not had a lot of time to write inspirationally. Anyone have any inspiration to share?

Life is Full

I have barely written this month. Life has been a whirlwind, and I don't really know where it has gone. My husband came back from Kenya, he had been gone for several months which was enough for me to appreciate the power of single mamas, and we began the work of settling into a new autumn for our little family.

Malcolm is growing like a weed, and pooping like a being with superhuman powers or maybe like a super-artist painting the house with poop and other bodily fluids. I have not weighed him since his six month check up but I think that my eight month old is speeding toward 30 lbs.

It has been 17 months since he started growing inside me, just one year and five months since this journey began with just a few cells. I never knew how much motherhood would change me. I knew that it would change me, but it has transformed my life in many ways that I never expected. I think that the biggest is that I have learned that I can't control everything. I am learning to be much more at peace with the imperfection of the world. It is much more fun to play than to try to control things anyway.

I have also been thinking about how to keep Malcom in touch with his lineage-he is half Kenyan after all. My husabd wants to document everything about who he is and where he comes from so he will be armed with his knowledge of self. I hope that this is enough. I still get shocked and defensive when adults have any reaction towards my son other than to love him. I seethe when I see them acknowledge white children and not him, but he does not need to see me explode I think. I think he just needs to see me keep our lights shining despite our challenges.

He is really working on walking right now and putting everything in his mouth. He is a quite a bit of work at the moment, but I feel like I am always falling in love with him. I just wish we could quitely cuddle more and take a breath all the action from time to time.

Malcolm and I in North Carolina

Here is a picture of Malcolm and I at my friend Lola's wedding in North Carolina. It was very green and beautiful there. I was the maid of honor, but next to the bride and groom Malcolm stole the show! More pictures and stories soon to come.

The Bread Thief Who Crawls in the Night

I have not had a lot of time to write recently. I have gotten a lot busier at work, and family life has become more demanding. I have been trying to get the camera fixed, but it now seems permanently broken. This is sad especially because Geoffrey is now back and I want to get pictures of him with the baby.

Malcolm is growing up a storm though. It is astonishing to watch him pull himself to standing. He is so interested in food also. We have given him a nickname in Swahili that means "Bread thief" because one night we were all eating a late night snack in our breadroom and Malcolm crawled over and snack a small piece of bread from my plate while I was looking elsewhere. Geoffrey thought I had given it to him, and when I told him I didn't he started call Malcolm "Bread thief."

He is still a little picky about food though-don't try to give this boy green beans!

The Perfect Manifestation of Motherhood

Well everyone, I have officially discovered the mama-o-sphere, that is the mama-oriented blogosphere and I am hooked. As much as I used to write these blogs in my most blissed out moments of motherhood (of which there are many actually) I find the more realistic, honest and sarcastic mama blogs a little comforting. This is because I somehow can not manage to fulfill my destiny as the perfect mama.

A week or so ago one of my friends said he was going to seek out a Superwoman outfit for me. Now I see what he had in mind. So let me share with you all what I am striving to be for my little Malcolm, and my husband, and the world.

• I want to be the mama that can somehow afford and manage to provide her little one with all the attention and love he needs with complete patience and understanding.
• I would like to keep us both on a 100% organic diet and not succumb to the temptation of the television when he is around and I am tired.
• I would love to clothe him in noncorporate, organic clothes with no obnoxious corporate logos.
• I would like to be more organized and more focused at work with no breast pump issues.
• I would like to be extremely effective with the campaign I am working on at work.
• I would like to be able to do all of the things on this list while keeping a clean house.
• I would like to be a better friend and more involved in my church
• I would like to be a great wife to my husband
• I would like to protect us all from being wounded by racism
• I would like to be able to accomplish all these things while looking stylish and tropical.
• Oh yea, did I mention fixing the schools in Portland before Malcolm is old enough for Kindergarten?

My mind knows that this unreasonable, but I keep trying because I just feel that is what my men deserve. I also see really put together mamas who look beautiful. Can anyone tell me their secret please?

By the way everyone, I have Uncle N working on the camera. Hopefully it will still recover from its trip to the ocean. Keep up all the commentary I love it.