How I have Changed Since Becoming a Mom

Hi Everyone,
I saw this call for little mini-essays on the topic written above. I thought about writing something for that site, but all admissions needed to 100 words or less and frankly I am just more verbose than that so decided to explore the topic here.

Since I became a mom...
I play more.
I stop to notice the flowers and think about how my son perceives their colors.
I have many more things to think about, but also more calmness most of the time, and more patience.
I love all children even more than I did before, and understand them differently
I have lost all modesty-frankly I couldn't care less who sees my boobs or how many drool stains I have on my dress
I spend much more time rolling around in the grass in Portland's parks
I spend much time thinking about the pesticides in Portland's parks
I have a much deeper sadness about the state of all the mamas in the world
who must labor and birth in dirty places, without help or someone to remind them that they and their bodies are powerful.
I have a much deeper sadness about the children in the world who have no one to love them.
I want to wrap my arms around all of them
I live much more consciously because
everything I eat can help him develop a health brain and body
because everything that I feel is transmitting to him
because everything and everyone in our environment has an impact.
I want everything to be pure and beautiful for my son, but I am doing better at knowing that things are sometimes just out of my control and that we all will be ok anyway.
I much more conscious of why faith is so important.
I know how much I need people in order to complete this incredible mission of raising this child, and I am so thrilled to see that so many people are there to care.

Blazing sun and ancestral moments

Today I have a lot to write, but I think that I will do it in two parts. First, I am going to write about our day today. We actually had a lot of fun. I took Malcolm to the Cafe Au Play. I read about the Cafe Au Play on urbanmamas.com which I highly recommend to any parents out there. It is a great way to learn about stuff that is going on for families in Portland.

Anyway, the Cafe Au Play is a coffeehouse that happens once a month and that hosts events for adults (complete with coffee) and children including music, puppet shows etc.

I was really excited to take Malcolm because I have not been able to get him into any kind of playgroup. I just have not found one that was for his age group that met in our area at a time when we could come. He loves other children and other grown-ups and music. I love all of those things plus getting to spend time with other mamas discussing things of monumental importance-like my baby's poop and what his first food should be.

The cafe au play was a lot of fun and I got to attend a free naturopathic parenting workshop and learn about a lot of herbs and supplements that I can use for him as well as useful tricks for bring fever down like using wet socks.

After Cafe Au Play I thought about taking him to the park, but it was hot enough to boil an egg on the sidewalk and I was really hungry so we went home. I put chicken in the oven, opened all of our windows and then brough the big metal basin that we have outside for Malcolm to play in the water.

The basin reminds of the old wash basins that African-American women used to wash clothes in the South many years ago. I have seen a ton of pictures of these and there was something that seemed very old fashioned about washing my baby outside near the tall grass, dying avocado tree, and abundant dandelions.

I took him out again in the evening. The water had warmed a bit in the sun so the coldness did not come as such a shock to him. The sun was starting to set. I could hear children in the distance and Malcolm contently sat in the water and watched the leaves and trees and bugs. I totally had a flash to Kenya. I could see Evelyn waching her baby at dusk while the older children play. I ached for the rhythmic sounds of Maragoli ( geoffrey's village). I could picture myself doing the very same thing there-washing Malcolm outside while his cousins played or tended to the animals and neighbors walked by. I wondered why I had not bought a clothes line yet so I could do this while watching the clothes dry in the breeze and why it was sirens I was hearing in the neighborhood instead of familiar greetings in Kiswahili and Kimaragoli. This was the most Kenyan moment I have had with Malcolm yet, but it was not only Kenyan because I could picture my greatgrandmother washing my grandmother the same way in the state of Georgia a long time ago. Everything was slow, and sticky and quiet. The only thing was it seemed like there should have been so many more people nearby.

Watching leaves

We had a little bit of time today in the park in between errands. I took lots of pictures of my little pooping angel watching the leaves. I think babies have a way of reminding us that God is everywhere and in fact is everything.

The Laws of Babyhood

You have heard perhaps of the laws of science? Here are the laws and equations of babyhood...

What goes in must come out ....usually through as many openings as possible
breast+baby=poop


Hold out for more to come. I will have a posting soon on the politics of mothering.

Here are some of the milestones that Malcolm has met

rolling-he rolled off the couch when I was nursing today
giggling
standing in crawling position with head up
playing and interacting with rattles and other toys
alert
tracking'
cooing
he loves the word gee. I think maybe he is trying to say ghee and we should call him butter boy!

Images from his first two months

Is it possible that he was actually that small?

Nature's Child

Last weekend we spent most of our time in parks. This child loves trees! Have I said that before? It's true, and I love that motherhood forces me to stop and slow down and notice the way the leaves blow or go and roll around in the park. It's like once this little one emerged out of me I was ready to go play. Maybe it is just the seratonin in the breastmilk, but even though this can be very hard and I can't figure out how to eat or keep things balanced in my life I am just so in love with this being!

Malcolm is funny, and interactive, and giggly and social. He is fascinated with other children and lets them hang on him, talk to him or ignore him. Sometimes though I can put him on our bed and he will just stare out the window and look at the leaves. I wonder what he thinks about them. You can just see him watch them move. I think that he will be like his father-very, very social but at times slip off somewhere to contemplate things quietly.

Babies are addictive. God knew just what he was doing when he made them, and Malcolm's little spirit knew what he was doing when he chose us. Don't worry though I haven't forgotten that I need to struggle to fund schools or save orphans in Kenya. The difference is when things look bleak out there in the world I pick up my baby and we go watch leaves, roll around in the grass, and slobber on each other.

Here are some pictures of my little organically grown future leader. I am also including some new ones of him and Uma. We went to Uma's mama's birthday party and the two starting rolling into each other and actually holding hands! They really did hold hands-although Malcolm was usually the one reaching for Uma's, but we are going to avoid gender stereotypes because my little boy is going to be sensitive, empathetic and loving with women-just like his daddy-right?

More pictures

Malcolm and his sweetypie. Uma was not in the mood for the camers, but my little one was!
Uma looks a little saucy in this picture, but they are bothe unbearably cute. They were born just a couple of weeks a part with the same midwives. Later we found out that their mamas were born just a couple of weeks apart. We are both June babies in the same year.


Hi Everyone,
Here is a link to his sweety pie Uma's log where you can see a really cute thing Uma's mom did with Malcolm's picture and Uma's. I tried to paste the html into my site so you could see it here, but it didn't work. Uncle Nathaniel, if you are reading this-help!

I decided to post some adorable pictures of Malcolm and Uma on that note as well as pics of him and Uncle Curtis who watches him on Wendesdays.
http://www.babyuma.blogspot.com/


Also, if you are interested in ordering studio prints of Malcolm you can order them here
http://mystudio.kiddiekandids.com/viewshare.asp?c=54102250651H9SG9N

http://flash.picturetrail.com/pflicks/l_fadezoom.swf" loop="false" menu="false" quality="high" FlashVars="img1= http://pic20.picturetrail.com:80/VOL1440/5315560/10733269/154715199.jpg&img2=http://pic20.picturetrail.com:80/VOL1440/5315560/10733269/154715192.jpg" wmode="transparent" bgcolor="#ffffff" width="400" height="302" name="photoFlick" align="middle" allowScriptAccess="sameDomain" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage=" http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer">

About Faeries, magical babysitters and how to leave comments on the blog

Hello Everyone,
I don't have a new picture to post today because the re-charegeable battery died again-sigh. Anyway, I wanted to write about Malcolm's day today. Today Diane watched him and took him over to her house in the afternoon. They bought a brand-new baby swing for their backyard so he could play in the yard with her children and watch the trees. I couldn't believe it! Malcolm loved it too. He loves trees. He becomes totally capitivated watching leaves blow. Geoffrey wants to teach him to garden when he gets a little older, and I am sure he will love it. Good things too since I have much more of a brown thumb than a green one.

When I picked Malcolm up I gave Debra Lynn, Diane's daughter a faery wand. She loved it. She said " I love faeries and I love babies and I love faeries because they love babies." I said, " DebraLynn, I read some stories though where faeries steal babies." Diane replied, "Well, it's a good thing that Malcolm is too heavy for a faery to steal!" We really had fun.

Diane also read to him in Spanish and German. I think he also heard a story about the Dalai Lama and Martin Luther King today so just in case we worried that he would lack a sense of social justice, we have a head start in that area.

I had fun giggling with him. He is really into my nose. He totally cracks up when I give him Eskimo kisses and sometimes he will put his mouth on my nose (no, I don't have cold or anything). He thinks that this is the funniest thing in the whole world.

Ok, several of you have asked how to leave comments. At the end of each posting you will see a line that says "0 comments" or however many there are at the time. Click on this line and it will take to a screen where you can write your comments just like an email. Then click publish at the bottom. Hope that is helpful.

Love to you all.

another day

Today we went to church and Malcolm had a wonderful time witht he other babies. He loves other kids and seems to be in a big hurry to be able to run and play with the rest of them. I can't wait to see him take off and run off giggling with the other children, at the same time I already miss the times when I could easily pick him up with one hand.

I also have to confess that right now I am totally exhausted. I haven't wanted to do anything but sleep this week. Probably due to the fact that I don't think that I have had a really good night's sleep in months and it is really hard for me to every eat enough.

Last week Malcolm went through a thing where he ate every hour and I was always hungry. Anyway, I will probably sleep and eat eventually, right?

Here are some more pictures of my little guy.

Ode to the Purple Spinning Thing

Ode to the Purple Spinning Bottle Mobile

To the Purple Spinnning Bottle Mobile
Thank you for providing my son with endless hours of fascination
He stares at you and giggles providing me with a few joyful moments of freedom
to bath, write, and eat
Oh purple spinning thing

SUPERSTAR

I would love your comments on this picture. We took it at the Baby Expo. He was really hamming it up for the ladies at Gymboree. He is a regular Mr. Hollywood and at 4 months and 18lbs he is a bit chunky too! It makes breastfeeding and babywearing a bit exhausting, but it is worth it for my little guy.

June 2, 2006-My first posting

This is the first posting of my blog. In fact, I have only known what blogs are for a couple of years now, but I feel so filled up with thoughts about my little one I thought I would try it out. Malcolm is actually my son's middle name. His first name is Joshua after his grandfather. Malcolm is middle name is after Malcolm X which is fitting because when he was first born he was fully able to control everyone around him with the smallest little motion.

He is beautiful and brilliant though. I am sure every mother feels that way, but I am awe that he came from us.

Malcolm is just over four months old now, and he has started rolling over. What is much more exciting though is his giggle. Nothing is more exciting than his huky little laughing and those dancing sparkly eyes. That's what really gets me. It doesn't take much to make him giggle. I can just smile at his and he breaks out in giggles, and then I laugh because he is laughing. We can go on like that for hours.

That is pretty cool-that all it takes for him to exude pure joy is just for me to smile at him. Gosh, I wish it was that simple with everyone I love. I try that all the time in the real world. I smile at soldiers, guards, random people on the street and most of the time it seems people are caught up so much in their own mental clouds they don't even notice. It is hard to believe that we were once all babies just waiting for someone to love us so we could smile.