Malcolm and the Foot Steps to Freedom Walk on World Refugee Day

Malcolm wanted to walk for Freedom too!

Riding on Slavica's shoulders. She is originally from Bosnia. She fell in love with Malcolm and did not want to give him back, but duty called!

Malcolm had a wonderful time on the World Refugee Walk put on by Lutheran Community Services. This first picture shows us modeling our World Refugee Day T-shirts.

I can not believe that it has been year since I started this blog, and life has been full of those full circle moments. Malcolm has been doing so many new things. He just knows and understands so many things it is pretty unbelievable to me. Of course, to me, everything is still miraculous as if no other child has ever done the things that Malcolm has but of course I think that is just part of mamahood.

Malcolm is in love with cars right now, and anything else with wheels. We did not program him that way, but that is just how he is right now. He loves to watch the cars from his car seat, and Anna has a toy car that he plays in when he is at her house that he never wants to leave. Everytime we go to the grocery store we have to put him in one of the car grocery carts because if he so much as sees one he only wants to ride in it. Anna says that she has observed that some of these gender things just seem to be innate as well like the little girl toddler she knows that just gravitates to pink.

Malcolm has many passions right now but his main ones are being outside and anything with wheels. He is very active. He runs around telling everyone " Hi" and flashing that melt-your-heart smile. I am told almost everywhere I go that he is the most adorable baby, and I have to say that I totally agree but he is growing into a little boy so fast!

Boo Plays Peekaboo

Enjoying a Summertime Bath in the Garden

Here are two pictures of Malcolm enjoying a summertime bath in the garden. He picked the yellow flowers that you see floating in the water while he was sitting there. He has his mama's love of flowery baths I think.

Watering the Garden with Our New Hose

Day of the African Child

This weekend, I went with Malcolm, my colleague and twenty something refugee children to the Day of the African child. Malcolm had a great time and fit right in with the rest of the crowd. At the end of the day some of the children sang old slave songs that they learned at home before coming to America, and Malcolm stood up and danced. The other children laughed-and he laughed and I thought about circles and generations. I thought about my people as slaves returning to Africa and teaching songs there to people who did not speak English or understand its meaning who taught it to their children, who lived through war, who came to America and taught it to my African and American son who laughed and sang and danced and loved everyone and who cried and slept when they left and we went home.

Unbearably cute picture of Malcolm at Aunty Anna's

More pictures with Daddy

The top two pictures are ones that were taking in front of a local coffeeshop in Portland on one of our friends cell phone. They are the best pictures of Geoffrey and Malcolm that I have seen in a long time. The last one is of Malcolm at the park. I did not really mean to upload it with the others, but it is cute so it may as well stay.

Memorial Day Weekend at Grandma's

We had tons of fun at grandma's. We got to go on a boat, eats lots and lots, play with cousins, eat lots and lots, play with a baby doll stroller, take baths, play with a stroller, eat lots and lots etc. The pattern is intentional.

Anyway, we had a great time and it was good for all of us to get to relax with family at last.

New Things Boo Can Do

Well, I officially heard him say "No" multiple times today, but not in a defiant toddler way. He said it in a cute singsong way that mocked the way that I was saying it to him completely. Kind of cute, but I know that won't last long.

Malcolm has also recently aided the word "Bye" to his list. He can now say the following words...

1. Hi
2. bye
3. Mama
4. Mom
5. Baba
6. Dada
7. Uh-oh
8. Yes
9. No

I am pretty sure that I heard him say don't and he is working on thank you also. I just wanted a chance to write all this down while I have a chance to catch it. So much has been going on in our lives I feel like I am missing opportunities to record it all.

We went to Colorado to see Grandma this weekend, and Malcolm had a wonderful time-with the exception of Grandma's pooch Mo who kept knocking him over. We went swimming, took baths in a real bathtub (we only have a shower and plastic basin at our house) spent time in a hot tub, played with cousins, ate nonstop and spent time surrounded by loving family. I will post those pictures next, but I think that my blog catch-up time is nearing an end. More soon...

Mowing the Lawn with Daddy

This year Geoffrey has planted a wonderful garden-a tiny little shamba- in our front yard. We started teaching Malcolm to water it. He carries his tiny little cup over to the plants and dumps the water on them-or sometimes on his shoe instead-and then carries the cup back to one of us to get refilled. He loves being outside, and this seems like a great continuation of last year's leaf watching. I do think that I am going to miss leaf watching, but at the same time it is fun to see my little guy bloom.

In these pictures he is practicing pushing the push mower that we borrowed from a friend. He is very proud. He loves to push things.

Day of the Young Child April 29th

Malcolm could not stay off the stage when they had drumming on the Day of the African Child. He was cranky that day-he did not take a nap-but that could not stop his sense of rhythm. I can not wait to take him to the Children's Musuem again. CM2 in Portland really rocks and it was a fun day. The whole day was free for the occassion.

Malcolm's Easter

Malcolm had a wonderful Easter until the end of the egghunt which was just too close to naptime. I loved being with this weekend though in the sunshine and teaching him all about plastic eggs. He loved them. They shake, rattle, roll-and feed you sweets!

Malcolm's Peace March

Cool Slideshows

Five minutes of sun in February

In February, we had five precious minutes of sun. Malcolm and I ran outside to play. I was encouraging him to walk, but he was more interested in hugging the tree-that's my baby!

Cool Slideshows

New Things Malcolm Can Do

This kid is really growing up before my eyes, and honestly I am not really sure that I am ready for it, but on the other hand it is a lot of fun. He is over his ear infection now-Amen-and life can go back to normal.

He now can say five words, although he doesn't say "dada" as much as he used to. Malcolm can say "mama,""baba," "dada" "uh-oh" and now he can also say "hi." The "hi" bit is pretty darn cute I have to admit.

He also has started doing this thing where he vigorously shakes his head no when he does not want to eat something or do something, but sometimes he does it just for fun. That is pretty cute too.

What do you all think of his new African clothes? He is our budding little Obama!

Gifts Arrive from Africa for the King of Portland

A FRIEND IS BORN IN KENYA

Here is a picture of Baby Earlyn. She is the daughter of our friend Nancy Njambi in Kenya. Nancy tells me that Earlyn would make a great wife for Malcolm someday! Anyway, the picture is too sweet, and we don't have a lot of pictures of our Kenyan family on here so I thought that I would add it.

This kid is really a toddler now

This kid really is a toddler now. He is walking like crazy! I can't believe it! What happened to my cuddly little newborn? My baby is gone and now I have a child. We actually walked together a lot today while we were waiting for a friend to meet us at a coffeeshop. We just walked up and down the sidewalk, and each person that we passed smiled at us as Malcolm toddled along on one of the first spring like days in Portland this year.

Have I mentioned I absolutely can not wait for summer-fun times in the park and in and by large bodies of water. We need to get the Bunyolis to the ocean again, and I have to find some way to do more camping with Boo.

If you can hear me God-please send us spring so this toddler and I can play! Thank you. Amen.

The Preparation for the Birthday Bash Pictures

Here are the pictures that show the family preparation for the birthday bash. The slide show fades kind of slowly so stick it out through all the pictures. The same is true of the party pictures.

Enjoy! We certainly did.

Cool Slideshows

Malcolm's First Birthday Bash

I am going to post more bithday pictures and more preparation pictures soon. This was an all-weekend, all family event. Boo is the center of everything, but I have to admit I had fun. I had not enjoyed putting together a theme party and gathering people together in many, many moons!

Cool Slideshows

After the haircut with his wagon

Malcolm's First Haircut

Our brave boy in the barber's chair.

The latest Malcolm Stats

I took Malcolm to the doctor for his well baby visit today. Here are the latest stats. Our bouncy bundle of joy is now 11 1/2 month 31 1/2 inches long, and weighs almost 28 lbs-that is about 12.6 kilos for our friends in the metric system.

He is getting his one year old molars and that is why he has been cranky as cranky can be lately. Unfortunately, he also has a yeast infection and dry skin behind his ear. He is like his mama-a sensitive skin guy. So if any of you mommies out there have different recipes for soothing skin treatments for my maby lamb let me know. The doctor recommended browned flour which I am getting ready to cook up right now since he is sleeping. Poor guy had a hard day.

Since my car died in the recent snow storm we had to take the bus and in the case had to take Portland's slowest line. Then he had to get examined, have two shots and have his blood tested for anemia and lead. All of that with two huge teeth pushing through!

When we he wakes up though we have more adventures waiting for us. I am planning on taking him to get his first haircut.

Playtime with Daddy

Cool Slideshows

Martin Luther King Day 2007

Today is Martin Luther King, and I have a lot on my mind. In church today the pastor mentioned how extraordinary it is that forty years later we continue to celebrate the life of a man who himself only lived for thirty-nine years. She talked about how important it was for him to have a strong love of self in order be able to overcome all the injustices he would have to face, and to be able to resist the constant barrage of voices telling him that he would not be able to do anything, that he was lesser, than he was not a worthy human.

I thought about that a lot, and about how we could be able to arm Malcolm for life in this crazy world. Geoffrey is always wanting me to emphasize Malcolm's lineage. He wants to make sure that I am able to tell Malcolm want clan his comes from, and that he understands himself as simultaneously Kenyan and American. While this is a difficult feat to me because the lines of heritage seem so broad and complex that I wonder if I shall ever be able to understand them, I agree completely with their importance.

I have personally witnessed the loss that my people have had which is a result of namelessness, of lack of heritage. I have seen this in so many ways which I will discuss here, but it is ironic that it should exist at all because really the whole society that we are living in now was built by our ancestors. Every building should serve a testimony to that heritage. I am unsure why it does not.

When I was younger (and for the record I would like to assert that I am still not old) I saw this as a sort of an ache-the longing of a child for their lost mother-but now I have seen that the legacy of being robbed of a rightful sense of identity is a much deeper pain. It is more like walking around wounded, and having to live with chronic pain that is so deep and yet so constant that you must learn to cope with it, release it, or ignore it.

I have seen my method as a combination of all three, but I fall into pitfalls all the time. So the question is really-how do I give Malcolm that totally strong sense of self that will be enough to guide him through the hurdles that he will face in life? I guess this is every parent's question regardless of race or culture, but it seems especially daunting to me. There are so many times when I feel so small in the face of such a big task.

Parenting has opened me up in so many ways. It has been in many ways an open invitation to play and to remember love and joy, and yet I am always worried if I am doing things well enough to do justice to the life of our little ball of wonder. If I do this wrong he may end up angry and bitter and aimless like so many in this world, and that would be unbearably tragic because Malcolm's spirit is so pure and incredibly full of life. Every day he just seems to enter the world a little more and fill it with his powerful little presence with those sparkling eyes and infectious laughter. Of course he is my little universe, but others have also noticed his specialness. Somehow when he enters a room-even one filled with other children-he stands out every takes note.

In a couple of weeks he will be turning one. I am planning a birthday party for him, and some have said that I am going a little bit overboard and that the party is more about me than Malcolm at this age. I can't help though-since the moment I held him in my arms I have wanted to share him with the world. He is so beautiful and good. I want everyone to share the joy that he brings and I want to celebrate him and his birth and first year of life. Birthing him was the most transformational thing I ever did- I want to celebrate that and honor him again with the community similar to when he was born. The day he came home from the hospital was supposed to be the day of my blessingway. Since it did not happen like that women sat in our living room in case anyone came by to disturb me or the baby-sort of keeping watch over our little family and bearing witness to his beauty. I loved having him welcomed into a community like that, and somehow I think the answer to that strong sense of self, that connectedness and maintaining his spirit is tied up in that sense of community and support. Tricky business in the midst of all of our divisions, but somehow important nonetheless. Hopefully, in the next year Malcolm can teach me how to help him keep his little light shining.

I love you little one.

This is year I have fallen completely overboard into Christmas lala land. We don't have a tree, and our budget is very tight, but I have had fun picking out stocking stuffers and small little things that I can do for my loved ones.

I was telling one of my co-workers that when the war in Afghanistan started three years ago I marched into a popular shopping mall downtown with a small group of protestors shouting "Stop your shopping, bombs are dropping!" I did not get anyone store bought gifts that year, and stayed in Portland instead of going home to see my family.

This is year is a whole other ball of wax. I have savored every moment with my husband who has been working a zillion hours for us. I put the all-Christmas all the time station on the radio and sing Christmas carols to Malcolm. Someone in the church painted a portrait of Malcolm and I as the madonna and child. I hung up the stockings, got a wreath through a local micro-enterprise project for migrant women, and have generally blissed out on Christmas.

Malcolm loves the call and respond Christmas carols. He giggles like crazy every time I say "like a lightbulb" during the Rudolph the Rednose Reindeer song. He also generally put up with having his picture taken on Santa's lap.

When I asked Geoffrey if we should send a picture of Malcolm and "Baba Christmas" to our family in Kenya, he responded "Sure, but they will just think he is sitting on some white guy." It was very funny.

The question is now- how do I give my little one a wonderful Christmas every year while emphasizing tolerance and the roots of the holiday which are really about hope and peace and love and not techie toys that we can't afford anyway?

Well you all can test me next year when Malcolm is old enough to get some things about Christmas-will it be a spirtual time of giving and togetherness or will this activist mama fall into the globalization trap?

Stay tuned....

And now back to decking the halls

The Many Moods of Malcolm

In Search of the Great Pumpkin

Cool Slideshows

Lactivism

This week a breastfeeding mama was kicked off an airplane for breastfeeding her child without covering herself with a blanket. This is an outlandish act! Fortunately a petition has been circulating nationwide which has gathered more than 20,000 signatures and Delta has already vowed to train their employees on the benefits of breastfeeding. There is currently a Breastfeeding Promotion Act before Congress. Please sign this petition to show your support.

I am sorry to be so unabashedly political on the Blog, but how else will be able to make things better for our children?

http://www.democracyinaction.org/dia/organizationsORG/momsrising/signUp.jsp?key=1772&t=petition.dwt

Malcolm is doing great on numerous front, although I feel sort beaten up by the last month. It seemed like I worked non-stop and hardly saw my precious boy wonder during the weeks leading up to the election. Then of course I collapsed in exhaustion and got sick. The good news is that we won everything. Having been raised by a socialist feminist type (love ya mom!) I am not accustomed to winning on Election Day so seeing my candidates win and the school levy pass with 59% was like witnessing a miracle. Now I can see my Bugaboo again.

Malcolm is getting pretty good at standing which means that walking is not far off. I am not quite ready for that! He loves his drum and can really beat out a rhythm for a nine month ( I absolutely can't believe he is that old-one is right around the corner!). He eats almost everything now, but is still nursing. This guy is really a breast man. He will nurse until he is at least two I imagine.

I am putting together a little slide show of our pumpkin patch trip so I will post that on here soon!

This fall has been hectic, but we have still managed to have fun even in the midst of the chaos. Grandma came to town and we all went on a trip to the pumpkin patch. It is really astonishing to me how incredibly playful Malcolm is these days. He had a blast crawling on the pumpkins, riding on our shoulders through the corn maze and sleeping in the wagon while we had a picnic lunch. You could not ask for a more perfect day!

He had a cold on Hallooween so we did not really get to take him out, but we did have fun dressing him up as a puppy and watching him crawl around.

He has five teeth now and two more are coming in on the top. He looks like a one year old and he is doing many of the things they are . It is hard to convince people that he is only nine months old.

It is still hard to believe just how much I am in love with him. Since becoming a mama my priorities have completely changed. I am just so much less focused on my career and so much more focused on my family and personal life. It is like I just discovered the rest of the world and I want to relish every second. It sounds like the king is waking up. I will write more soon!

First Words

It's Official! His first word is "Baba" which means Daddy in Kiswahili, but he also says "Umama" for mama especially when he wants milk. Malcolm is really getting active. He follows us to other rooms, and he is eating mostly grown up food now. He doesn't like babyfood much now except applesauce, but he loves rice, soup, and fruit.

He is also our little musician. We have an African instrument called a "zeze" that I brought back from Kenya years ago thjat he loves, and of course he loves our drums. Everyone in church was laughing today because I stood him up on my legs so he could see the choir and then he started jumping up and down and waving his arms around to the music he was so excited.

Here are some pictures of him at the zoo in September.

Still Growing

Malcolm is doing so many things that I am in just in awe. It is like an explosion of growth. He is so curious and explorative. He is crawling up a storm, but he really likes to stand up. Today at his baby playgroup he stood up, leaned on a crate and actually walked pushing it for three steps before falling down. I wanted to jump up and down and declare it a miracle, but no one really seemed to notice. Everyone thought it was very ordinary. It is funny to me how people think that all these things are normal and I am astonished as if seeing a magical act. The reality is that it is both ordinary and completely miraculous. How great it is in the midst of all life's stress that we can stop to notice these miracles.

The other thing is Malcolm is so interested in life that he seems to have forgotten all about the bliss of sleeping. He only took one nap the whole day, but then in the evening we want to visit some of our Kenyan friends. With all that Kiswahili swirling around and so many children playing Malcolm just could not stop.

When we came back he seemed to think that a whistle I found was the funniest thing in the world. He started making a funny sound that was like "att, att, att" and laughing. This is all very exciting, he just grows and grows and grows.

More pictures from the wedding in North Carolina

Here are more pictures of Malcolm with me in North Carolina. I was very budy playing the matron of honor role so Malcolm had many opportunities to make new friends. Thankfully, I have been with a really social child. That is helpful since he gets carted to so many meetings. Harry, who is in one of the pictures was one of the best men (there were two) and he really fell in love with Malcolm. He wanted to hold him all the time!

Strangely, I have no pictures of Lola (the bride) holding Malcolm. I am sure that on the day I was too afraid of the potential of drool or poop ending up on the wedding dress, but we could have captured the picture at other times.

I have been very busy lately and have not had a lot of time to write inspirationally. Anyone have any inspiration to share?

Life is Full

I have barely written this month. Life has been a whirlwind, and I don't really know where it has gone. My husband came back from Kenya, he had been gone for several months which was enough for me to appreciate the power of single mamas, and we began the work of settling into a new autumn for our little family.

Malcolm is growing like a weed, and pooping like a being with superhuman powers or maybe like a super-artist painting the house with poop and other bodily fluids. I have not weighed him since his six month check up but I think that my eight month old is speeding toward 30 lbs.

It has been 17 months since he started growing inside me, just one year and five months since this journey began with just a few cells. I never knew how much motherhood would change me. I knew that it would change me, but it has transformed my life in many ways that I never expected. I think that the biggest is that I have learned that I can't control everything. I am learning to be much more at peace with the imperfection of the world. It is much more fun to play than to try to control things anyway.

I have also been thinking about how to keep Malcom in touch with his lineage-he is half Kenyan after all. My husabd wants to document everything about who he is and where he comes from so he will be armed with his knowledge of self. I hope that this is enough. I still get shocked and defensive when adults have any reaction towards my son other than to love him. I seethe when I see them acknowledge white children and not him, but he does not need to see me explode I think. I think he just needs to see me keep our lights shining despite our challenges.

He is really working on walking right now and putting everything in his mouth. He is a quite a bit of work at the moment, but I feel like I am always falling in love with him. I just wish we could quitely cuddle more and take a breath all the action from time to time.

Malcolm and I in North Carolina

Here is a picture of Malcolm and I at my friend Lola's wedding in North Carolina. It was very green and beautiful there. I was the maid of honor, but next to the bride and groom Malcolm stole the show! More pictures and stories soon to come.

The Bread Thief Who Crawls in the Night

I have not had a lot of time to write recently. I have gotten a lot busier at work, and family life has become more demanding. I have been trying to get the camera fixed, but it now seems permanently broken. This is sad especially because Geoffrey is now back and I want to get pictures of him with the baby.

Malcolm is growing up a storm though. It is astonishing to watch him pull himself to standing. He is so interested in food also. We have given him a nickname in Swahili that means "Bread thief" because one night we were all eating a late night snack in our breadroom and Malcolm crawled over and snack a small piece of bread from my plate while I was looking elsewhere. Geoffrey thought I had given it to him, and when I told him I didn't he started call Malcolm "Bread thief."

He is still a little picky about food though-don't try to give this boy green beans!

The Perfect Manifestation of Motherhood

Well everyone, I have officially discovered the mama-o-sphere, that is the mama-oriented blogosphere and I am hooked. As much as I used to write these blogs in my most blissed out moments of motherhood (of which there are many actually) I find the more realistic, honest and sarcastic mama blogs a little comforting. This is because I somehow can not manage to fulfill my destiny as the perfect mama.

A week or so ago one of my friends said he was going to seek out a Superwoman outfit for me. Now I see what he had in mind. So let me share with you all what I am striving to be for my little Malcolm, and my husband, and the world.

• I want to be the mama that can somehow afford and manage to provide her little one with all the attention and love he needs with complete patience and understanding.
• I would like to keep us both on a 100% organic diet and not succumb to the temptation of the television when he is around and I am tired.
• I would love to clothe him in noncorporate, organic clothes with no obnoxious corporate logos.
• I would like to be more organized and more focused at work with no breast pump issues.
• I would like to be extremely effective with the campaign I am working on at work.
• I would like to be able to do all of the things on this list while keeping a clean house.
• I would like to be a better friend and more involved in my church
• I would like to be a great wife to my husband
• I would like to protect us all from being wounded by racism
• I would like to be able to accomplish all these things while looking stylish and tropical.
• Oh yea, did I mention fixing the schools in Portland before Malcolm is old enough for Kindergarten?

My mind knows that this unreasonable, but I keep trying because I just feel that is what my men deserve. I also see really put together mamas who look beautiful. Can anyone tell me their secret please?

By the way everyone, I have Uncle N working on the camera. Hopefully it will still recover from its trip to the ocean. Keep up all the commentary I love it.

malcolm at my birthday party

ok, so you all know that my birthday is in June, but Douglas just sent me this picture of malcolm at my party earlier this summer. Malcolm is awfully cute! Since, I have not had any luck fxing the camera yet, I thought I'd post it. Don't get confused, he's not getting any younger... but can I can that joy?

I remember feeling joy that pure and having it so easily at hand. What I wouldn't give to be as joyous and expressive as a baby!

Malcolm at 7 Months

Malcolm had a huge day today. He is finally collapsed on the floor in the living room sound asleep. First we went to church where it was Jazz Sunday so the whole worship service was musical. He fell asleep at one point during the service and then the singer hit a high note and Malcolm woke up and wondered what had happened.

After that we rushed to Uncle Curtis' birthday party in Piccolo Park where Malcolm got to play with other children and adults and of course have some time to watch leaves. There was just so much climbing, crawling, watching, laughing and eating to be done that he couldn't sleep. I took him for a walk and he finally fell asleep, but when others were cleaning up he woke up again- about 30 minutes of sleep only.

After that we went home briefly so I could pick up my bathing suit and go to a swim party that was organized by a group that Curtis belongs to. My little guy slept in the house and the car a little bit and then we were in a pool.

I have to say Malcolm really warmed up to swimming. He is a regular duckling. He astonished me with how ell he could kick and splash since this is only his second time in a pool. He even let me put him on a little floaty raft and drag him around. He tried to crawl on it-as if crawling on land wasn't hard enough my boy has to crawl, stand and walk on water-watch out world here comes Malcolm!

My mission this week is to see that the camera recovers from the beach trip. Malcolm's Daddy is coming back from Kenya next Saturday and it will be fun to be a complete family again.

The day that Malcolm crawled

Hello Everyone,
I have so much that I want to write right now, but it has been a long day. Still, it is worth noting that today-August 19th is the day that Malcolm crawled for the first time. It is also the day that he first discovered the piano and saw fish move in a tank.

To Musemoon...

Will that amazing mama who left that totally awesome comment on my blog please contact me? I tried to find your blog, but I haven't succeeded so far. Also, if you are in Portland can we do a playdate? I am totally thrilled that people I have never met are reading my blog and that we can all share thoughts about these great things. My political mothering stuff has had some pretty powerful results and I think it is wonderful. Malcolm is himself a little healer, and the amazing thing is that he doesn't need to do anything out of the ordinary to do his healing. Maybe we were all like that.

Well dear ones, I am far too tired to write anything understandable tonight, but I would love to find musemoon. Tomorrow perhaps you can hear about last week's mishaps including dropping the baby.

Here are some pictures of people who have been lovingly caring for Malcolm all summer. This is an incomplete representation because I do not have photographs of everyone, but it provides a sampling of all the people.

I should also note that there may be a temporary break in pictures. The camera did not like the beach as much as Malcolm did and I am having a hard time getting it to function properly again after its contact with wind and sand. Perhaps this is a job for Uncle Nathaniel?

To My Village

Several friends of mine have commented on my incredible child care arrangements-free child care with people that love and adore Malcolm and bring him into their families. Their comments are that this seems nothing short of miraculous especially in the midst of our capitalist, anti-family society.

My friend Anna Jean told me that I should write instructions on how to do this or just post it on the blog. So that is what this is all about. One thing that I have really noticed about having a child is that in many ways it is like being in love, but when you fall in love with a mate (or at least when I fall in love with a mate) it causes you to close out some other people for some time. The falling inlove part is really between the two of you. Falling in love with a child does just the opposite it causes me to bring people in. I noticed that everywhere I go people really want an excuse to come out of their shells and play for a while. Neighbors who usually go about their business without greeting others stop to smile at Malcolm, make all kinds of rediculous noises to make him laugh, and to tell me all about their children or grandchildren. It is really clear how much we all desperately want to connect with each other and young children seem to give us an excuse to do that. Malcolm is an especially good excuse because he is not a shy baby and he can almost always muster up a two-toothed grin for everyone.

So here is my recipe for making a village to raise your child.

1. Spend your life caring very, very deeply about children. Work hard to spend as much time with other people's children as you can. Volunteer at daycare centers, tutor kids. Be unafraid to be a child among children. Also be unafraid to be a community parent among kids.
2. Work in organizations advocating for children, and get to know other people that care about kids.
3. Do your best to be a good friend. Do all you can to serve your world and don't expect an equal trade from your efforts.
4. When you are pregnant or going through an adoption process figure out how to get support for yourself. Do not go insane every time you are around men as I did.
5. During your babymoon, give people a chance to come for short visits and get to know your baby and your new family dynamics.
6. Add in a good faith community.
7. When you are ready to start setting up your child care arrangements ask the people who are now most connected to your family, your values and your child and who have schedules that are complimentary to yours. Be direct. Most people will be honored for the opportunity.
8. Create shifts around all your needs.
9. Watch your child thrive in a community full of love and adoration and a variety of stimulating experiences.
10. Tell them all how precious they are.

One last tip, it is also helpful to do trades. I like to trade things that are things that I enjoy and that my friends may enjoy, but that we don't get to do very much. Massages for child care or Swahili lessons etc. The truth is that this method makes the whole world richer.

Camping-the sand, the wind, the sea, and the milk

Building Blocks of Development

World Breastfeeding Week

Well, ok, this blog is stating to get more and more political, but what did y'all expect anyway? I have after all been an activist since I was about six.

This week is World Breastfeeding Week and although I did not make it to any of the events around Portland, I thought that I would give a shout out to all the breastfeeding mamas out there.

The truth is that giving birth bust me wide open-literally, emotionally and spiritually. It caused all the parts of me to realign and reconnect in a totally different way and to see thigns from a different perspecitve-like an earthquake of the soul, and now people everywhere come up to me with the baby, smile and introduce themselves but they also all have opinions on my parenting.

I am not a blanket breastfeeding mama. I think subtly lifting my shirt is enough and the idea of needing to put any type of blanket on Malcolm and I in 90 degree heat is just rediculous. Besides at the stage he is now he would just grab it and pull it off and I am not going to spend our whole feeding trying to teach my little boy that women should be ashamed of their breasts. He certainly sees nothing but beautiful nurturance from my body and that should be the first thing he learns about women shouldn't-that he can be safe, nurtured and abundantly loved?

Nathaniel and I decide the solution should actually be to announce that I will be breastfeeding my baby just in case anyone wanted to be offended they could start early. This is Portland afterall though, the only time I had a problem was on the airplane. The stewardess literally threw a blanket on me and then kept walking so I couldn't say anything to her. Eventually though the blanket ended up in the floor just like everything else,

It's official!

It's official everyone. My bouncing baby boy is now 22 lbs and 8 oz and 28 1/4 inches! What a ham! I also can no longer leave him on my bed sleeping. He has become the one that goes thump in the night!

Just the two of us

All the Children of the World

In light of my last posting I thought I would add this picture before I really do go to bed...really.

A political bit about raising my beautiful black son

I have a zillion pictures to post and big dreams of doing them up in fancy configurations with all the new photo software that I now know how to use, but it is 9:00 and I am ready to go to bed. I think that I am coming down with something. So my ideas of grandeur will have to wait until tomorrow.

For now, I am going to write my first political piece of this blog. It was bound to happen sooner or later.

A couple of days ago I was innocently working away at my job trying to make things better for children in Portland. I was feeling very focused, hopeful, and productive. I was certain that I could put one foot in front of the other and carry my little family over all the obstacles that face us. It didn't matter that every time I turn on the radio all I hear is war, war, war and death. It didn't matter that drought, AIDS and poverty was ravaging the whole continent of Africa where my beloved husband and father to my child was born. I was doing a good job with one little child and with a job that was going to change things for children in Oregon, and I have done all I could for children in Kenya for many years.

So there I was in this meeting facilitating a discussion with a lot of people who are far, far more educated than I am but feeling quite self-confident despite being of course the poorest person in the room and the only person of color.

"So what are your concerns about children in Portland? " I ask. There is a long dialogue about the state of Jefferson High School and several other topics. I turn to another person. "You, have not spoken yet, what are your concerns?" "Well, the statistics are quite shocking." He says. "Only 1 in 4 African-Americans graduate from high school in Portland." I had never heard this statistic before so after I think successfully bluffing my way through the rest of the discussion I verified his source. It was true. I had heard this about certain schools, but not the city as a whole.

What about my beautiful little Kenyan-American child? I just wanted to rush back to him, put my arms around him and tell the world "You can't have him! He's mine! He's too perfect, too pure. He's too brilliant and he loves every one of you too darn much! You can't hurt him, can't crush him. He's mine."

Malcolm is doing so very well, and loves everyone and I am so very afraid of school. I expected him to be a girl which would have been easier. I can arm a young black girl for womanhood, but Black men in this country are so hurt and wounded and so often demeaned and imprisoned. I feel that I have brought someone wonderful into a place where he is doomed, and I just want to hug him and hold him and hope that war and racism and global warming will just go away while we are too busy watching the leaves or the sunset to notice that everything just got better.

Everything Changes, first food, first teeth, and moments from crawling

Malcolm is going through so many changes right now I can barely keep. In fact, I am not keeping up. I am totally panicked. In the span of this past month his first tooth has starting cutting through his gum, he has gotten ready for eating, mastered rolling (now he rolls off our bed in the night, good thing I child-proofed that a long time ago), and he is just about to take off. He is really close to crawling. I am freaked out. The whole idea that my baby will be eating food that did not pass directly through me first, that he will be going places on his own accord makes me proud but sad. I think that I will end up crying the whole school day on the first day of school!

I gave in though and gave his some organic yo baby yogurt today. He was already trying foods here and there and Debra Lynne still tells me how much she loved yo baby and it is healthy stuff. Here are pictures of his yo baby experience. He liked the yogurt, but I am so relieved that he loves mama's milk more than anything else. We will be nursing for a long, long time. I just can't tell you all how much I love this child!

All About a Boy and a Dog Name Mo

The first day that we were in Colorado, I had a really hard time with Mo, my mom's dog. I am not really a dog person and Mo kept stealing Malcolm's toys. I guess you could say that my protective inner mother wolf kicked in and I kept advocating keeping them separate. However; halfway into our trip Mo came up to Malcolm and started licking him and stuff. Malcolm thought he was just about the funniest thing in the world and started laughing hysterically. Then I started letting them play together a little which is what you see in these pictures. By the end Grandma, Mama, Mo, and Malcolm all took long naps together. My stepdad would come in, take one look at the very full bed which was only missing him and the cat, let out a sign and resign himself to the TV downstairs!

Malcolm watching leaves and the leaves themselves

My mom wanted me to add a picture of the leaves that Malcolm was watching from his point of view so here is the photo. She actually took this picture with him when she visited us in May. We all went to the park together, and had a lot of fun. I have spent more time in parks since having a baby than I did in all my years in Portland combined. Having a baby makes me spend more time being a part of the earth instead of spending all my time saving it. I think saving the earth has something to deal with healing it anyway, and I think that healing it has something to do with healing ourselves also and I have a lot of work to do in that department. Malcolm is a great teacher though.

Mama Love

Here is a picture of Malcolm and I last month when grandma was in town. I just got the pictures back when we went to Colorado. Recent pictures from our trip to Colorado are coming soon along with clever stories about Malcolm and grandma's dog, but I am having technical difficulties so this will have to do for now.